The Inevitable
by Syrus
Summary: Captain James Kirk had much more then learning diplomacy and gaining friendship with his First, Mr. Spock to worry about during his five year mission. He just had no idea how strange the challenge he'd face would be.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

James Kirk decided that he had developed quite an interesting relationship with his First Officer Spock. He decided that it wasn't quite friendship, but whatever they had was edging in that direction, and Kirk was pleased with this. After hearing Spock Prime tell him that they were destined to be great friends, he made it his personal goal to see if this was true. If, one day, the cold, up tight, and painfully proper pointy eared bastard could be anything like Spock Prime, Kirk felt as though he might have a chance at getting through to him.

In any case, he did like a challenge. So it was natural that he attempted to be a little less formal with Spock when the opportunity arose, and he especially made sure to pointedly ignore the warning glares he got whenever he gave Spock a playful slap on the arm or a clap on the shoulder. Over time, just as he spent much of his personal time with other crew members, he extended the gesture toward Spock through games of chess.

At first his First Officer would politely refuse, insisting that he had further research or meditation exercises to help his focus to attend to, but Kirk did not let this stop him. Not only was he an extremely determined person, when he set his mind to something he was also damnably stubborn. Finally, Spock relented, though the look on his face told Kirk he immediately wondered if it were a mistake.

Kirk could tell that Spock was surprised that he did not use this opportunity to get further rises out of him or to trouble him about anything, and he so expressed to Kirk that he would look forward to their next match. Soon, this became a tradition of theirs, but for the first many matches, their conversation was strictly restricted to ship matters and missions that Starfleet sent them on.

Kirk knew that he wanted more than an acquaintanceship with Spock, he wanted a friend. Someone that could actually be comfortable enough with him to have a conversation about things other than their jobs. He knew that he had to keep trying to pry past the protective shell that Spock had encased himself in, knowing that the other must be more fun than he was letting on.

There was the fact that he'd bagged a girl like Uhura. Kirk was certain that Spock had to have other sides than the one he showed him to have managed to do that. Time went on though, and even if things between them didn't seem to be getting worse in any way, they'd only marginally gotten better in Kirk's opinion. Maybe Spock still held it against him slightly just how he'd gained Captaincy over this ship.

He readily conceded that he had to say some horrible things to Spock to obtain it, and though he felt the other had put it behind him, since they were able to interact in a normal enough manner, he was sure the other had not forgiven him. So, during one of their chess games, Kirk decided to approach this.

After thinking carefully and moving one of his pieces, Kirk cleared his throat and spoke softly, "Hey, Spock…I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Yes, Captain?"

"Hey, how many times have I told you? Call me Jim when we're not on duty." Kirk said, waving off the way Spock addressed him.

"All right. Jim." Spock's tone seemed mildly amused as he waited for Kirk to continue speaking.

"Yeah, I know this happened a long time ago, but I need to tell you I'm sorry." Kirk said awkwardly, looking away from Spock, "About the things I said to become Captain when Nero was attacking."

Spock seemed to still for a moment, then collect himself before speaking, "Though I had lost control of myself in that time, I have come to the conclusion over time that was the quickest and most logical way of dealing with the situation."

Kirk looked closely at Spock's face then, finding it to be in a state of complete Vulcan blankness, but his eyes…he could see in his eyes that thinking of that time still hurt him. Kirk couldn't stand it, and this is what caused him to order Spock to look at him.

When the other complied with the request, Kirk gave him the most heartfelt look he could manage and he said, "Just because it was logical, doesn't make it right, and for that I'm sorry. I never should have said any of that about your mother."

After this, Spock was silent for a long moment, but Kirk felt as though he saw some tension in the other's shoulders relax when he finally spoke again, "I accept your apology, Jim."

Kirk then gave him a small smile and then dropped the subject.

* * *

  
* * *

Kirk found that after his true apology to Spock, things got just a little easier between them. Spock seemed much more trusting with Kirk in their conversations, and finally seemed willing to speak of other things than work. Then Kirk took the opportunity to ask questions about Spock's childhood and he volunteered that information about himself, since Spock seemed too polite to ask. Soon their conversations would span their thoughts on certain literatures and other media, their stands on certain social issues, and slowly they even turned to less serious and sometimes more personal subjects as well.

"So Spock, how are you and _Nyota _doing?" Kirk emphasized Uhura's first name, in a teasing manner, knowing that she never wanted him to know her first name for most of the duration they had known each other.

Kirk was also glad that he'd seemed to reach a kind of understanding with her as well, able to interact normally enough as well, but he also had the feeling she still held against him the things he'd said to Spock. Apparently his First never informed her that he'd already _apologized_, thank you very much. Though, the fact that Spock kept it private touched him in a strange way, like it was a significant moment just for both of them to know, and for no one else.

But, he was quickly brought back to the present when he saw Spock give him an eyebrow for the deliberate emphasis and he said in a marginally dry tone, "I do not believe she would approve much of you referring to her in that fashion, Jim."

This just caused Kirk to smirk playfully at him and he said, "Well, it's a good thing it's just you and me here then."

Spock shook his head a little at Kirk, but his eyes shined with humor. Kirk could tell that Spock was now more in tune his sense of humor, and he luckily gave him no grief over it.

"Nyota and I are doing quite satisfactorily."

Now this caused Kirk's eyebrow to rise in a teasing fashion.

"'Quite satisfactorily,' huh? I don't think that's quite how I'd put it if I were making sweet lo —"

"That is quite enough, Captain." Spock said, his tone suddenly becoming warning, and his jaw tensing.

Kirk knew that he was in trouble, not only with Spock's minute expression changes, but by the fact that he'd called him Captain instead of Jim.

He just laughed good naturedly and said, "All right, all right. I'm just commending your good taste in women, that's all."

"Your commendation is noted." Spock said, still not amused.

Kirk realized that he just might have offended Spock, so he softened his tone and said, "Hey, I'm really happy for you guys, you know? I'm glad that you two are happy."

Kirk could see that Spock still needed more time to get used to his tendency to randomly be brash about certain subjects, but he was glad that the other relaxed once again at his statement.

"I am fortunate that she is so…understanding."

"She must have been to get through your thick Vulcan skin." Kirk said, grinning teasingly.

The corners of Spock's lips curled up just slightly and he said, "Yes, she is quite a remarkable woman."

It felt like a triumph to Kirk to have gotten Spock to almost smile in his presence. And, he'd realized that he'd quite liked the times that they spent together like this. In this moment, Kirk felt like it just might be possible to reach the level of friendship Spock Prime spoke of. He looked forward to that day.

* * *

  
* * *


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Soon the Enterprise was given a diplomatic mission to conduct on the newly discovered planet Magos VI. It was Kirk's job to illuminate the advantages that would be gained by the planet in joining the Federation, namely protection from hostile alien forces such as the Klingons or the Romulans. It was arranged that Kirk, Spock, and McCoy would be beaming down to meet with the Vuctorna dignitaries to conduct discussion of the prospect with them.

This was Kirk's first diplomatic mission, so underneath all of his cool confidence and bravado, he was understandably a bit nervous. It was his way to state things as they were, and in a diplomatic situation, even he knew that wasn't the way to go, so in essence, he would have to contain all of his natural tendencies during the proceedings. He felt as though this would be one of the longest missions of his life.

As the three of them got ready to beam down, Kirk turned to Spock and said, "Just make sure I don't say or do anything stupid, okay? I think you're better at these diplomatic kind of things than I am, anyway."

Spock just nodded, but McCoy made a jab, saying, "Prepare yourself, Spock. You'll have a lot of stupid to keep track of, believe me."

Kirk just gave McCoy a glare when he saw one corner of Spock's lips twitch at that, and he said, "Shut up, Bones."

With that, they beamed down.  


* * *

* * *

Once they all materialized in the agreed location, Kirk's eyes immediately settled on the welcoming party that was waiting for them.

"Greetings to you, Captain James Kirk of the Federation." A male humanoid said as he approached them, and Kirk assumed this man was the lead dignitary.

When he got closer, Kirk noted that they did look very much like humans, though they were a shade paler than is considered normal, even for the palest human, and their ears were extremely pointed and long, even more so than Spock's. The man had hair of a very dark green and he seemed to flow with his every step. His voice was also warm and rather floaty.

Behind him, Kirk saw that he was followed by a woman of the same colored skin, but having light blue hair that went just past her shoulder, and seemed to flow beautifully around her head with every move she made. She was wearing a rather stunning blue and white gown that looked like a delicate flower opening up. Her eyes were quite fascinating too, he decided. They reminded him a little of his own, but they were darker and had a definite sparkle to them that wasn't present in human eyes.

"Ahh, greetings to you and your people as well." Kirk said with a small smile on his lips, trying to be as genial as possible.

The tiny nod he got from Spock when he hazarded a glance over to him set him more at ease. The two Vuctorna seemed to then study the three of them carefully, exchanging a few quick lines in their language when the male addressed them again.

"Where is your second in command?" he asked looking between the three of them curiously.

"Oh, right here." Kirk said sheepishly, feeling stupid that he didn't already introduce his landing party, feeling as though he was already messing up, "This is Commander Spock, my First Officer. And right by him is our Chief Medical Officer, Doctor McCoy."

This caused looks of surprise to materialize on the Vuctornas' faces and they exchanged a few more lines with each other. When both of them looked at Kirk again, the man spoke one more time, "It is not a female?"

Kirk was now getting a little nervous. He hoped that the way his senior crew was established on his ship would not end up offending these people they wanted to please.

"No, he's not." Kirk said, trying to sound apologetic under their now downright critical stares.

They spoke one more time, seeming to agree on something, and the male finally smiled at them, "I am very sorry that I have ignored my manners, Captain James Kirk. I am King Terilooth and this is my Queen L'reg. We welcome you to our planet."

Kirk let out a silent sigh of relief that things didn't go down hill before they started. When the King led the way to where they would be having their discussions, the landing party quickly followed behind. They saw that they were being led to a kind of ornate palace which was very earthy and natural looking, and also very beautiful.

They were informed that the discussions would occur over dinner, and until then, they were encouraged to settle in their quarters. It was a large room provided to them with three beds in it, and all other luxuries one could expect in their room.

"Wow, the Vuctorna really do go all out with guests, now don't they?" Kirk said in humor, looking around the room in a bit of awe.

"I am sure it is just their custom to extend great welcome to those that visit their planet." Spock said as he impassively examined the room they were in.  
"Well, then I'm sure there will be no harm in accepting their hospitality." McCoy added, finding a flask of some drink with glasses near by on a table in the room.

After determining that it did not seem poisoned with his tricorder, he poured himself a glass, took a sip, and then said, "This stuff is great! Here, you both should have some."

He then poured the two of them classes. Kirk readily took his glass, while Spock reluctantly took his. He did not seem to want to participate in this, but with the look Kirk was giving him, he went along with it.

"To diplomacy!" Kirk said with a teasing smirk, raising his crystal toward the others.

They clinked their glasses against Kirk's and took their drinks. Kirk was surprised that it was a sweet beverage that usually wasn't something of McCoy's liking. He drained the rest of his glass and went to pour himself another. With accommodations like this, there was a chance that he could get used to diplomacy missions after all.

* * *

* * *

The meeting in the evening went quite smoothly when Kirk, on the best behavior he could ever remember himself being on, explained to them the dangers of not being part of the Federation, and with the Vuctornas readily agreeing that it would be quite beneficial to become a part of the planetary Federation, since they would appreciate the protection it would provide. They were not a war like people, and knew very little about war and combat, so any assistance that Starfleet could provide them would be gratefully accepted.

Kirk also learned why they reacted the way they did when they found out that his First Officer was not a female, since it was their culture that a male and female must rule together to have all things run with harmony that one sex could never provide alone. It appeared to Kirk that they had no idea of democracy or that sex was not an additional determinant of who got what position in Starfleet, but he just kept that to himself, nodding politely when they expressed their sympathy to him about being unable to choose a female for this post, since obviously none must have been available to make a selection from.

Soon the dinner ended, and they were allowed back to their guest room. Kirk and McCoy were already making their way out of the discussion hall, but L'reg summoned Spock over to her. Kirk noticed quickly that Spock wasn't with them, so he encouraged McCoy to go on without him while he stayed by the exit from the room and watched in a curious and almost protective way.

Kirk saw they had a short conversation, and then this is when Spock noticed that Kirk had waited back for him. Saying one more thing to L'reg, Spock quickly approached him.

"What's she talking to you about?" Kirk asked quietly and curiously.

"She had some questions for me that are completely unrelated to the diplomatic proceedings, sir."

"What sort of questions?" Kirk returned with, sounding just a little suspicious now.

"About me and my culture. As it would be quite rude to refuse their request for information, I will provide them with as much as I am able." Spock said evenly, but his eyes told Kirk that he wasn't so sure about this either.

"Look, don't give them too much information, okay. We just met these people, so just keep it short, all right?" Kirk said protectively.

"Understood, Captain." Spock said with a quick nod, then turning and joining L'reg again.

Kirk was now feeling a little concerned about this, but he was distracted from the thought when he returned to their room and noticed that McCoy was already asleep in one of the beds.

_Couldn't even wait up for me?_ Kirk thought, suddenly yawning.

Now that he thought about it, he was feeling rather tired himself. Without another thought, he collapsed onto the bed beside McCoy's and was asleep by the time his head hit the pillow.

* * *

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Kirk felt very drowsy the next morning as he woke, and he was greeted by McCoy's face being very close to his, seemingly examining him very closely as he ran the tricorder over him.

"Thank god you're awake, Jim. I was getting worried." McCoy said in relief, putting his tricorder down for a moment, "All your readings are thankfully normal."

Kirk grunted as he sat up in bed, and he mumbled, his voice still thick with sleep, "What happened, Bones?"

"I believe that the food we consumed during dinner was spiked with some sort of sedative." The doctor replied in a deadly serious tone.

Kirk's eyes bugged out in surprise, and he exclaimed, "What? Why would they do that?"

"I don't have any idea. I'm just glad we were done no harm."

Kirk almost relaxed when his eyes moved over to the empty bed next to him, and then he was excited again, "Spock! Where's Spock?"

McCoy's eyes narrowed in concern and he said, "When I woke up, he wasn't here. The bed didn't look slept in, so I had no choice but to conclude that he'd never been here."

Hearing this, Kirk jumped out of the bed, and nearly stumbled with all the sudden movement, but he hurriedly pulled McCoy along with him as he ran back to the discussion hall, "They wanted to speak with Spock about something alone. If they drugged us, I don't know what they might have done to him!"

Though McCoy had his differences with Spock, hearing this made him infinitely more worried. He followed as quickly as he could behind Kirk, and within seconds they'd made their way to the hall. Kirk was ready to break down doors at this point to save Spock, but he stopped dead in his tracks when he saw that Terilooth and L'reg seemed to be waiting for them in the room. Beside them another woman that Kirk and McCoy had not seen the previous day.

"Good morning, friends." Terilooth said in an absolutely friendly manner, giving them a big smile as they approached.

Kirk was in no mood for diplomatic politeness now, so in a slightly harsh tone, he replied with his eyes burning in warning, "I don't know what you think of friends here on your world, but in our Federation, we do not drug some of them and hold another captive."

Terilooth's eyebrows went up in surprise and then he laughed, "Yes, we may have added something extra to aid your sleep, but we certainly have not held any of your people captive."

Kirk but his hands on his hips in impatience, and he said in sarcasm, "Oh really? Then where is my First Officer?"

L'reg suddenly cut in and laughed as well, saying, "Right in front of your eyes, Captain James Kirk."

She then motioned toward the woman standing next to her. Kirk's eyes narrowed in thorough confusion. Were they saying that woman was…? No way, it couldn't be. His eyes slowly examined this woman, starting from her feet.

She had dainty feet in dainty green shoes, she was in a beautiful green gown, similar in style to the one L'reg was wearing, her arms and hands seemed quite delicate and graceful, her black hair cascaded softly onto her shoulders and back…no way this could be Spock.

But then he reached her face. Her mouth was set in a thin line, the dark brown eyes were intense, and her slanted eyebrows were raised in irritation…okay, on second thought, there was no way that this _wasn't_ Spock.

Kirk's voice stuttered slightly in surprise and shock, "S-Spock?"

And the voice, though slightly higher in pitch, was still the same one he remembered, the one when Spock definitely was _not_ pleased about something, "Yes, Captain. It is me."

Kirk and McCoy's eyes widened. This was crazy. He had to be dreaming. McCoy quickly approached Spock, taking out his tricorder to do some initial diagnostics, and then he looked over to Kirk and said, "They're right, Jim. My tricorder is telling me that this _is_ Spock, but we should get him up to our sick bay to make all the necessary diagnostics."

Kirk shook his head. He couldn't deal with all of this at once. He finally looked back at the Vuctornas and he spoke firmly, "These negotiations are over."

He didn't wait for their answer, waving Spock and McCoy over to him, then flipping open his communicator, "Kirk here. Scotty, three to beam up, immediately. We have a situation here."

Scotty sounded surprised on the other side, but he didn't question it, "Beaming up right now, sir."

Kirk then gave the Vuctornas a scolding look, and the three of them dematerialized.

* * *

* * *

Then they rematerialized in the transporter room, and Kirk found Scotty looking at them in shock.

"Sir, who is this? Where's Spock?" Scotty said, his eyes narrowing in confusion.

"Scotty…this _is_ Spock." Kirk said impatiently, rubbing his head slightly as he began to get a headache.

This definitely would not be easy to explain to Starfleet.

"There's no way this lovely lady could be Spock." Scotty said, his eyebrows scrunching up too.

"It is indeed me, Mr. Scott." Spock said, raising an extremely irritated eyebrow at Scotty, and speaking in a very carefully controlled tone.

Scotty just stared for a long moment, and then he laughed.

"I'dunno how you managed to jump ships, Mr. Spock, but I do believe I approve."

Kirk swore he saw something twitch in Spock's face at Scotty's comment, but the half-Vulcan just glared in response.

Kirk then let out a sigh and said, "Okay, Bones, check out Spock in whatever way you have to, and then we have to do a long brief for Starfleet. I'll be on the bridge, please contact me as soon as you're finished."

McCoy nodded, and then led Spock directly to sickbay. Kirk took his time walking up to the bridge. This was definitely going to be a long day.

* * *

* * *

The lift doors to the bridge swished open and Kirk silently went to take his chair. Everyone on the bridge knew something bad had happened, but no one was sure what. Kirk wasn't so inclined to share either, and so things were painfully silent and awkward on the bridge for a few moments as he sat down.

Uhura quickly noticed that Spock had not joined him on the bridge, and since Kirk's face looked concerned, she immediately jumped to the worst conclusion. She marched up to him and spoke quietly and pointedly, "Captain, did something happen to Commander Spock?"

Her eyes were extremely worried as she looked at him, and Kirk knew he couldn't hide the information from her. He knew that Spock was her man, and so she probably deserved a little warning before she went to see him, more than anyone else.

Kirk let out a tired sigh, and quietly replied, "Lieutenant, can we talk in the ready room?"

Her face got more worried, and she nodded, now really expecting the worst. The rest of the bridge felt the same way. The Captain surely would have told all of them what was going on, unless the situation was grievous. He got up from his chair and he led the way into the room, inviting her to take a seat. He waited until the room doors were firmly closed before he took a seat across from her.

"What happened?" she asked again, now sounding absolutely concerned, "Was there some sort of fight? Was he badly injured?"

Kirk almost wished it was something like that, since that was a thing he knew how to deal with. Now this…the Academy definitely never covered how to deal with one of your crewmates being changed into the opposite gender.

"No, Uhura…" his voice hesitated as he tried to come up with the best way to break to someone that their boyfriend was now a woman, "Spock wasn't hurt or anything."

"Then…?" now she was looking confused, and Kirk just wanted to slap his forehead.

"Look…I don't know how to say this in any way that'll make sense, so I'm just going to tell you, all right?"

"Okay…?" she prompted further, obviously wanting to get to the bottom of this, getting sick of the suspense.

"Those people…the Vuctornas…they…" Kirk was so reluctant to say it, hardly believing it himself, "Well, they…turned Spock into a girl."

Her eyes widened and then she looked at Kirk like he was crazy, "…what?"

Kirk closed his eyes and shook his head, saying, "That's right. They did something and made him into a girl. I don't know how yet, since I haven't spoken to Spock about everything yet, but he was definitely a girl when I brought him back onto the ship."

"You have to be joking. This is just one of your sick jokes, right?" Uhura said, her tone now getting angry, since she believed Kirk to be yanking her chain when she was so worried.

He shook his head somberly, "This isn't a joke. Don't you think I'd come up with a better joke if I wanted to tell one? This is serious."

She was silent a long time then, trying to process this information. Kirk felt as though she reminded him of Spock in some way. Perhaps that was why they got together in the first place. She wasn't looking at Kirk when she spoke again, but her request was soft, "Can I see him?"

Kirk took a deep breath and nodded, "Yeah. I'll just call Bones and see if he's done checking Spock out."

Opening his communicator, he contacted sickbay, "Bones, are you done with the diagnostics on Spock yet? I've spoken to Uhura, and she'd like to see…him."

"Just about, Jim. Everything is normal with him…uh…her…whatever. Spock is just a female now." Bones' voice came morosely over the comm, "I guess it'd be all right if you brought Uhura down to see him now."

"Okay, we're headed down there right now. Kirk out."

Kirk then got up and led the way out of the ready room. This definitely was going to be interesting.

* * *

* * *


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Kirk thought Uhura reacted as well as could be expected in such a situation, and soon after he and McCoy gave them a moment alone together to talk it through, Kirk took the three of them into the briefing room so that Starfleet could be contacted and filled in fully of the proceedings on Magos VI.

They settled down quickly, but Kirk was having a very hard time concentrating since Spock had not even changed out of that gown the Vuctornas had put him in, since they all wanted to get this done as quickly as possible to allow them to make decisions on the next action they should take. If it were up to Kirk, he was ready to go down there and hold the king and queen at phaser point until they changed his first officer back, but he knew better than to act rashly in such a situation, especially since the Vuctornas didn't _actually_ try harming them in anyway.

_They did drug Bones and I though…so maybe we can get them on that. And being changed genders against your will? That _has_ to be considered as an offensive act._ Kirk thought to himself as he hailed Starfleet.

The Admiral they were to contact on completion of the mission appeared on the screen.

"Admiral Nacen, this is Captain James T. Kirk of the USS Enterprise."

"Hello, Captain," The man said in a cheery enough tone, expecting good news, "So what news do you bring us?"

Hesitating, Kirk said, "The negotiations were…inconclusive."

"What do you mean, inconclusive?" the Admiral asked sternly.

Taking a deep breath, Kirk pushed himself to continue. As unbelievable as it was, it still was the truth.

"We left quickly because the Vuctornas committed an offensive act against us." Kirk said, trying to keep his face calm.

The Admiral's eyebrows went up in surprise, "They attacked you?"

"Not…exactly, no."

"Then what _did_ they do?" the Admiral said impatiently, suddenly feeling like they shouldn't have sent such a hotshot young and new Captain for a job so important.

"They somehow turned my First Officer into a female."

Kirk decided in this moment, that he should just get used to other people looking at him like he was crazy. Hell, he probably wouldn't have believed himself if he heard it.

"They did what exactly, Captain?"

Kirk then looked in Spock's direction for some assistance in the matter, but all his eyes said was 'No, no, no.' Kirk would have liked to respect Spock's privacy in this situation, but it was unavoidable. He waved to Spock to come in front of the view screen so that he could be seen by the Admiral.

Spock got up from his seat very reluctantly, but then he stood in front of the screen as was asked by Kirk. He stood stiffly at attention with his arms behind his back as he often used to, but it looked quite ridiculous with him in such a flowing gown.

"Admiral." He said with a nod.

Kirk looked at Spock some more, not sure if he should be calling the half-Vulcan "he" or "she" now. He figured he'd ask the other later, deciding it should be up to Spock. Kirk came out of his thoughts when he heard the Admiral sputter.

"You are First Officer Spock?"

"Yes, sir." Spock's voice sounded as calm as always, but Kirk could tell from the tense way he held himself he was anything but.

The Admiral silently thought this situation over, his anger at Kirk dissipating as he realized that this situation wasn't as straightforward as he thought it was going to be.

"I suppose you were right to remove your away team and stop negotiations, Captain." The Admiral conceded, "But our situation is still critical. We need Magos VI to join the Federation since they have a unique plant resource that has the potential to feed those who live on planets with very low yield and they require quite a low amount of maintenance. The Federation was counting on the joining of this planet to save lives."

Kirk now felt half way guilty that he'd left so abruptly when he heard this from the Admiral, but his crew depended on him to protect them, and he felt that it would be best if they did not stay a second longer with the Vuctornas. He cursed himself again for allowing Spock to go speak with them alone, even then having gotten a slightly bad feeling about it.

"So what is your recommendation, Admiral?" Kirk asked honestly, not quite sure what to do in such a situation either.

After another long moment, he said, "Please remove your crew immediately. We will have to speak further with the Federation and arrange for some diplomats to be sent to Magos VI to smooth the situation over. Report to Starbase 5 to receive your next assignment."

"But, sir, what of Commander Spock's…condition?" Kirk asked, not one to give up on something this easy.

"We have to hope the condition is a temporary one. I fear any more contact from you will be interpreted by the Vuctornas incorrectly, and at this time, it may damage the chance for reconciliation irrevocably."

Kirk's argument bubbled under his surface, but he grudgingly admitted to himself that the Admiral was right. They couldn't sacrifice all those lives just for one person who wasn't in any kind of mortal danger anyway.

"Yes, sir. We will leave Magos VI's orbit immediately." Kirk said, his clenching fists the only sign that he didn't really agree with the order.

"All right, I will speak with the Federation Council immediately. Good luck to your ship and crew, Captain. Nacen out."

With that, the view screen went blank. Kirk met eyes with Spock and McCoy and then he switched on the communicator in the room to contact the bridge, "Kirk to bridge."

"This is the bridge." came Uhura's voice from the other side.

"Chekov, please plot an immediate course for Starbase 5. Sulu, take us out of orbit and then at warp 3 speed, please."

"Yes sir." they both said.

"I will be back to the bridge shortly, Kirk out."

Before Kirk could speak another word to the two of them, Spock quickly chimed in, saying, "Captain, I would like to request permission to go to my quarters to…collect myself. I should be able to return to my shift after a short period of mediation."

At this, Kirk looked at _Spock_ as if he was crazy, replying, "Spock, you've just been turned into a girl. If there's any excuse for a few days off, that's it."

Spock was standing straight and stiff one more time, and he said, "Spending days not working is quite unnecessary. I believe that having one evening off of my duties will suffice."

Kirk thought it over for a minute, and then shook his head.

"Look, I want you to at least take one day off to get used to…the changes." He said very awkwardly, still finding that beautiful gown on a, he had to admit it, very attractive female Spock, quite distracting.

Spock was still for a moment, and then he nodded, "Very well."

With that, he quickly turned on his heel and left the room. Kirk couldn't blame the guy. If he had been turned into a girl, he'd probably want to lock himself away for a while too.

"Every time you think you've seen it all in the medical profession, you keep being proved wrong." McCoy said, shaking his head as he looked at the spot that Spock was standing, "Spock is still as sour as ever, but even I have to admit, he makes one pretty young lady."

Even if Kirk privately agreed with him, this caused him to laugh and he spoke teasingly, "Looks like someone has a crush."

This just earned Kirk a hard glare, and McCoy returned, "I am just stating fact. Just because Spock looks pretty, it doesn't make him, her…_whatever_ into any less of a pointy eared hobgoblin."

Kirk just laughed again as McCoy huffed and then made his way back to sickbay, leaving Kirk alone in the briefing room. He figured that he should get back up to the bridge, since there really was nothing left for him to do here. He wished again that he knew what to do in this situation, but unfortunately, there seemed nothing he could do but just wait this out.

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Kirk pointedly avoided questions from people on the bridge even up to the next day, wondering just how to break the news to everyone. He noticed that Uhura was being rather tight lipped herself when some of the bridge crew tried asking her, and he knew that this was making everyone more worried. He had to tell them what was happening too, since Spock was scheduled to return to tomorrow.

He finally couldn't take the looks he was getting from the bridge people anymore, so he said, "Okay, everyone on the bridge, listen up. I know all of you have been concerned about Commander Spock since we returned to the ship yesterday. I want to set everyone at ease by letting you know that he is in perfectly good health, although he suffered another…complication."

Kirk couldn't help but meet slightly worried eyes with Uhura before he continued awkwardly, "He has been changed into…a female."

Kirk heard the noises of shock made by people around the room and everyone was looking at him in disbelief.

"A female, Captain? But…how?" Sulu finally said, voicing the single thought on everyone's mind.

"I haven't found the specifics out from Mr. Spock just yet, but the Vuctornas did it to him somehow. In any case, he's scheduled to come back to work tomorrow, and I'd appreciate for everyone to make him feel as comfortable as he can." A tiny wry smirk came to Kirk's face, "It isn't every day that a man is turned into a girl."

Everyone conferred amongst each other quietly for a moment over the information, and then Kirk ordered everyone back to work. He also decided that later, he would have to speak with Spock privately about the whole thing, his curiosity really starting to get to him too.

* * *

As soon as a break in his shift came, Kirk quickly excused himself from the bridge and went straight to Spock's quarters. He had to get to the bottom of everything that had happened to him, and he really just wanted to find out if Spock really was all right. He buzzed at the Commander's door, and quickly walked in when the door opened for him.

When the door shut, he realized just how warm it felt in here, and he knew that was due to Vulcans feeling more comfortable at higher temperatures, due to the natural temperature that was found on Vulcan…well, used to be found, now he guessed. He looked up and found that finally Spock had changed out of that gown and into what he must usually wear during his personal time in his quarters. He, or _she_ Kirk supposed now, was wearing what appeared to be a home made looking sweater and simple black pants.

The clothes seemed to hang strangely on Spock now, since her body proportions were all different, but really Kirk couldn't say that it looked bad. Spock also had tied her long hair up into a tight bun on top of her head.

"This is an unexpected visit, Captain." Spock said, looking at Kirk in a way that he could only interpret as shy.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing." Kirk said, getting closer to her.

"I am adjusting as quickly as can be expected to the changes that my body has undergone." Spock spoke confidentially enough, but her eyes looked as unsure as Kirk had ever seen them.

"I'm glad to hear that." Kirk said, wishing there was more he could do for Spock.

They were silent for a long moment then, the awkwardness growing between them with every second, when Kirk finally said, "So, I have to know…how did they do this to you?"

At this, a look of confusion flitted briefly over Spock's face as she said, "At this, I am not certain. They brought me to another room inside the castle, and they offered me some tea as they asked me questions of the Vulcan culture. I did sample some of the beverage to be polite, but soon after I began to feel quite drowsy. I knew at that time that it was oversight on my part to accept it, but by that time, there was little I could do. They had me lay down on a kind of cot in the room, and as I lost consciousness, the last thing I heard was them chanting something in their language. The next memory I have is waking up in the clothing they placed me in as a female."

Kirk ran a frustrated hand through his hair and said, "That doesn't give us any information we need to know how to reverse this."

"Indeed, sir. I have spent much of my meditation time thinking on possible ways to reverse this, but I have so far come up empty handed." Spock said, sounding mildly frustrated herself.

"Hey, stop with the 'Captain' and the 'sir,' will you? It's just us right now." Kirk scolded playfully, trying to lighten up the situation.

"Yes, Jim." Spock said softly, looking to the floor.

It killed Kirk to see Spock looking so troubled, especially when there was nothing he could do about the situation, so he said determinedly, "We're going to figure this out. We'll find a way to fix things."

"I hope so." Spock said, not sounding as confident as Kirk would have liked to hear.

"Until then, maybe you can talk to Uhura…you know, ask her all about how to do your hair, or wear make up." Kirk was now just saying things for their amusement, not _really_ meaning any of it, but he wouldn't object to the advice being taken, "Maybe she can even help you dress – "

"Jim." Spock said, an eyebrow raised and that familiar warning tone back in her voice.

Kirk just laughed and then he raised a hesitant hand to rest on one of her shoulders. It felt nice in a strange way, and he smiled when he spoke again, his voice soft and a little more serious, "We're all going to do our best to help you. I want you to know that."

Spock stiffened for a moment under the touch, but then she quickly relaxed, and this made Kirk happy that she was also going to try not to let things change between them because of this also.

"I am grateful to be a part of such an understanding crew." she said about as dispassionately as ever, though her eyes told Kirk she really did mean it.

Kirk realized he was just a bit hesitant to let her shoulder go, but he did, and then took a step back, "I guess I'll be seeing you on the bridge tomorrow, then."

"Yes. I will see you then."

Kirk gave Spock a nod, and then he left her quarters.

* * *

The next morning, Kirk decided to drop by Spock's quarters again before their shift to make sure the other really was ready to come back to work, completely prepared to give her another day off if she needed it. Just as Kirk reached the quarters, Spock was stepping out of them.

Her hair was in the same bun he'd seen her in yesterday, but surprisingly, Spock was wearing the female regulation Science Officer's outfit. And though the other was not wearing any make up, Kirk felt as though she looked quite stunning. He approached her with a bit of a smirk and he said, "Decided to wear the female outfit, Commander?"

Raising her eyebrow, she replied in impatience, "I concluded that it was the most logical choice given my change in form. I felt as though the male regulation uniforms would be poor fitting in this state."

"I fully agree with your decision, Mr. Spock." Kirk said, checking her out a little, speaking in a playfully suggestive tone, "This outfit certainly _does_ compliment your new form quite well."

"Captain, we are on duty. If you feel it necessary to regale me with comments of this nature, please relegate them to our personal time." Spock said, her tone controlled, but tinged with irritation, her eyebrow moving up higher.

Kirk just laughed and then invited Spock to walk in front of him, "Ladies first."

Kirk knew in that moment that it was far too fun to irritate Spock. They began to walk toward the bridge, and Kirk observed the way Spock was walking. It was very stiff, and perhaps a little jerky. It definitely wasn't the way he'd ever seen any woman walk, and he felt as though he should correct this before they reached the bridge.

"Spock, wait a minute." Kirk said, stopping in his tracks.

Spock turned and his mouth was set in at thin line, "Yes, Captain?"

"You're doing it all wrong."

"Doing _what_ wrong?"

"Walking."

Spock just stared at Kirk for a moment with his eyebrows scrunched together, and he finally said, "I am sure this is just a matter of your opinion, sir."

"Look, if it's one thing I know, its women. No girl I know walks like that."

Spock seemed to consider this carefully, finally looking as though she'd been convinced, "Then…enlighten me, sir."

Kirk just smirked and he said, "Okay, let's try walking a little."

Now he looked even closer at Spock when she moved.

"Okay, wait again." Kirk came up close behind her and felt himself begin to get a bit nervous, figuring it was just because he didn't want to push himself too much into her personal space, "You need to relax your shoulders a bit more."

He placed his hands on her shoulders lightly and gave them a massaging kind of squeeze, then letting go when he realized that felt just a little nicer than it should have, "Also your hips…girls usually sway them a little when they walk."

Spock seemed to concentrate really hard as he tried to walk in the way Kirk suggested, and then Kirk said in some humor, "That's almost it, just sway the hips a little less…you know, unless you don't mind looking like you're going down a catwalk."

Spock stopped walking and then looked at Kirk curiously, "A…catwalk, sir?"

Kirk shook his head and chuckled saying, "Never mind, just try again."

Spock tried again, and Kirk deemed it a success, "Wow, Spock, you've taken really well to being a girl. Maybe it was meant to be."

Then Kirk got the annoyed face from Spock, causing him to laugh once again, as Spock said, "Now that _definitely_ is a matter of your opinion that I am sure is shared with very few others."

Spock quickly walked off ahead in the way Kirk taught him, and Kirk wasn't sure how he'd be able to keep the smirk off his face when he reached the bridge himself.

* * *


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Several weeks then passed in this fashion, with things running as normally as could be expected when one of the senior officer suddenly switched genders. Spock indeed did not let the change interfere with her work abilities, though he could tell that the other was quite unnerved by the looks she was now receiving from the male members of the bridge crew and science team.

While doing all of her normal duties, she was working nonstop with the science and medical teams to find some way to reverse this change, obviously not wanting to remain a female for the rest of her life. Kirk thought this was a pity, since she did make such a hot girl. Not that he'd let his thoughts be known to the other since, like most females, he'd definitely get slapped.

Although, since it was Spock, he just might get punched in the eye, and a punch from a Vulcan was something he definitely wanted to avoid. Girl or not, he knew that Spock was still much stronger than he'd ever be.

One other thing he noticed was that Uhura seemed to be slightly less easy around the female Spock than she was with Spock when she was a male. Kirk hoped that the changes weren't causing a problem in their relationship, but he knew that they would probably have to go through some sort of an adjustment period with this.

Kirk was curious about all of that, but he knew better than to ask Spock anything that personal in nature. He supposed, if the other wanted to tell him about it, she would bring it up on her own. Kirk was also going out of his way to treat Spock the way he always used to, although he found that he'd begun to slap her arm playfully, and other similar things, less, since he was having a hard time getting past the fact that this wasn't just any woman, it was _Spock_.

He also continued with their chess games, wanting to at least keep that, especially since he quite liked those times with Spock himself. One such time, he was waiting for Spock to show up after her shift at his quarters, and Kirk felt a little anxious and nervous. Now that he thought about it, he'd started to feel that way whenever he knew the two of them were to be alone.

No one knew any better, especially with his confident air, but it was obvious to him that something about the way that he saw Spock changed. He was determined not to let this come out around the other though, knowing that things were hard enough on her as it was. Finally she came at the expected time, and Kirk quickly let her in.

"Hey, Spock." Kirk said, giving her a friendly smile and inviting her to sit across from him at a table in his quarters where the three dimensional chess was already set up.

She took the offered seat across from him silently, and this is when Kirk noticed that she seemed slightly dejected. Nothing about her calm face said so, but her shoulders were strained and her eyes looked more guarded than was usual.

Kirk sat with her quietly for a moment, moving his piece, and then asking carefully, "Is there something wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong with my being, no." Spock replied shortly, moving her piece, and not meeting eyes with Kirk at all.

Moving another one of his pieces, he then took a careful look at Spock's face, his voice turning a little more forceful, "Like hell it isn't. What's wrong?"

Spock then let out a sigh of defeat and he said, "Over these many weeks, the science and medical teams have been working with me to find a way to reverse my condition. We have been unable to come up with a satisfactory result, short of what you humans have termed as 'transgender therapy.' It seems an unsatisfactory experience that I do not wish to put myself through."

Kirk looked at Spock then with concerned eyes and he spoke with determination, "You can't give up, Spock! You have to keep trying."

"Yes, but for how long, Jim? I may have to just resign myself to remaining female for the rest of my life." Spock said, casting his eyes down toward the table instead of meeting Kirk's.

"Hey." Kirk stood up from his side of the table and then he gently took one of her hands to encourage her to stand as well.

He had the feeling he used more gentleness since Spock was a girl, but he didn't over think it in this moment, just wanting to do what he could to make Spock feel better, "Spock, you are an excellent First and Science Officer. Whether you are male or female doesn't figure into this equation."

Finally Spock met eyes with Kirk again, and Kirk was touched to see undeniable gratitude in her gaze, "Thank you, Jim."

They kept looking at each other for just a moment, and this is when Kirk realized he was still holding her hand. He gently, and hesitantly released her fingers, feeling his cheeks flushing just slightly red as he gave her a half smile.

Then he stepped back, and tried to cover the blush on his face with a smirk, not wanting to think about the funny feeling he suddenly had in his stomach and said, "So, want to get back to me destroying you at chess?"

Her lips upturned just a little, not helping one bit with the blush just staining Kirk's cheeks, and she said, "Indeed, though I am sure you have gotten it backwards."

They then returned to their seats and continued their game.

* * *

* * *

Eventually the Enterprise was given another mission to carry out, this time on the planet Giedi III, which contained an outpost that many aliens came to do business with each other on. Starfleet had sent them there to obtain information on the whereabouts of a particular Klingon battle armada, since intelligence led Starfleet to believe that they were planning to edge out of the Neutral Zone into Federation Space. It was also important for the Enterprise to carry out this mission as covertly as possible, since Starfleet wasn't much welcome on this planet either.

Due to the mission being of the sensitive nature it was, Kirk decided it would be best if only he and Spock went down in the away party. They also decided to dress in what was considered normal in the parts, which involved slightly grungy clothing for the both of them, and Spock's hair being tied in a loose pony tail. Kirk thought Spock still looked fetching, even in such clothing, but he immediately pushed this thought away. Really, something had to be wrong with him. He really should have gotten over the fact that Spock was a hot girl by now…for example, he'd worked with Uhura for how long now, but he wasn't constantly thinking about her.

No matter, he'd wonder about that all later after this mission was over. He didn't need to be distracted especially when he was charged with something so important. When the two of them were given the necessary supplies they would need to survive and to record the information they were there to get, they got onto the transporter pad and were then beamed down.

They chose a place to beam down that would be mostly out of public view and near this particular cantina that they were to visit. Klingons and other species they did dealings with were known to be at this particular place, so they felt that this was the best place to infiltrate. They were to be giving the people there the impression that they were bounty hunting rogues that were willing to work for whatever side would bring them the most financial gain.

Kirk wondered just how Spock was going to pull this off, since she was so stiff and moral as it was. He shouldn't have doubted her for a minute, since the minute they beamed down onto the planet, she was in character. The way she stood, the dark look in her eyes, her face expressionless…everything was her fictional character T'Lera. It sent a shiver down his spine, and he wasn't all sure if it all was because of fear.

He figured he too should get in his character of Turay Jordin as they approached the place. He took a breath as they walked into the door, the environment reminding of the dive bars he used to frequent in Iowa. Loud, vulgar, dimly lit, and crowded. Strange how he now felt himself so out of place of in a location like this. He noticed that even if Spock was in character, the place made her wary, so she stayed a bit closer to Kirk than was absolutely necessary, and this was something he definitely wouldn't be complaining about.

They were told to look for a Klingon by the name of Tal'Taak, who was looking for people to give them information on Federation Starbases and other resources they may need for battle. Word was that people who helped them would be handsomely rewarded, so it seemed likely that their fictional characters would take this challenge on.

The two of them pushed their way to the back of this cantina and they found a well guarded group of people there. They figured that this would be the right place to inquire about the Klingon they were looking for.

Krik, making his voice a bit more gruff than usual, he addressed one of the guards, "We're looking for the Klingon Tal'Taak."

The guard grunted back threateningly, "Who's lookin'?"

Then Spock spoke up, and her cold, unusually detached voice sent yet another shiver down Kirk's spine, "I am T'Lera and this is Turay Jordin. We wish to help in his endeavor."

The guard scrutinized both of them very closely, but they stood as proud and cocky as they were sure their characters would, and then he whispered to another one of the guards to send the message to Tal'Taak that he had visitors, and then he directed them to a booth hidden behind them, where they were told to wait for the Klingon.

During this time, Kirk noticed that many of the men guarding the table were leering at Spock, and though Spock was doing a rather good job of ignoring the stares, it really was pissing Kirk off. Finally one of the men approached Spock and said, "How would you like to see a good time?"

Spock just raised a cold eyebrow and spoke in a downright scary withering tone, "I am sure you would be quite unable to provide me with 'a good time.'"

_That's my Spock._ Kirk thought angrily and indignantly, his teeth baring themselves slightly at the man of their own volition.

The man just laughed and then he reached out to grab Spock's arm, saying, "Ooo…saucy. I like 'em when they think they can refuse me."

And suddenly Kirk was moving, punching the guy hard in the face, and growling, "Stay away from my woman!"

The thing that scared Kirk the most wasn't the gargantuan that he'd just tumbled, but the fact that he wasn't so sure he was playing his character any more. Spock was obviously trying to keep the surprise at Kirk's move and words off her face, but since he knew her so well, he could see it obviously in her eyes.

When the other guards decided to give the two of them some space, Kirk prayed at the back of his mind that Spock would forgive him for this later, but he slid an arm around her waist and pulled her closer against him. He felt the minute and surprised tensing of her muscles, but she played along with it, letting herself lean against him.

Kirk didn't have too long to think about the warm feeling her body against his sent through him as the Klingon they were waiting for finally showed up. They talked their 'business' with him, Kirk secretly recorded their conversation for Starfleet, and then they made their way away from the table quickly. Kirk also took this opportunity to tightly hold Spock's hand as they left the establishment. He found that he did not even let go when they were well out of the place and he'd called for them to be beamed back up.

But when he'd put away his communicator, he noticed that her hand was still tightly clasped in his, and so he felt his face color slightly as he abruptly let go of her hand and mumbled an apology. Spock didn't get the chance to say anything else, only giving Kirk a curious look as they were beamed up.

The whole awkwardness between them was shoved to the back of Kirk's mind when they got back onto the ship, quickly debriefing on the mission, and then getting back into their normal clothes. Only when the two of them were about to go back to their own quarters for the night did Kirk get a chance to talk to Spock.

"Commander."Kirk said to Spock, addressing her formally since they weren't in the privacy of either of their quarters.

"Yes, sir?" she asked, standing in that very straight up way she usually did, with her hands and arms behind her back.

"I just…wanted to apologize for some of my behavior down there." Kirk said in absolute awkwardness, feeling embarrassed now that he finally had a chance to review his actions in his head.

Just what was he doing feeling and acting so possessive of Spock down there? It was way past what was necessary for his character to be believable and to protect Spock, who was perfectly capable of defending herself.

She was silent for a long moment, and then she said in a very even tone, "There is nothing for you to apologize for, Captain. I understand that you were to act as though you were protective of me, and you acted well in that capacity."

Kirk then smiled at Spock and spoke in a strangely gentle tone, "I'd do the same for you any time."

The look in Spock's eyes softened, and so did her tone, "I am glad to hear that, sir."

Putting a hand on her shoulder, he said warmly, "I'll see you tomorrow on the bridge."

Spock gave him a soft nod, her lips quirking slightly in happiness and said, "Yes, sir."

Kirk removed his hand and then went to his room. Now he was sure he'd lost his mind. He was definitely in love with Spock. His First, his friend, his…well, now obviously his romantic interest. Just what was he going to do?

* * *


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Over the next week, Kirk tried to ignore the way his heart skipped a beat every time Spock met eyes with him, or when their hands accidentally brushed, or when her shoulder would rub against his arm when they walked places together. Kirk thought he was going to go crazy with all of this. He _couldn't_ be in love with his First Officer, who was really a man, who was already attached, and who expressed no interest of this fashion for him in the past.

This was definitely hopeless, but his heart had already spoken. Just as stubborn as he could be over something he wanted, his heart was no exception to this. It wanted what it wanted, and he had no control over it. No control over the way he wanted to reach up and let Spock's soft hair flow free from the tight bun she always kept it in, no control over the way he wished to touch her, to kiss her, to —

Kirk knew he was torturing himself. What good would it do him to think of all of the things he wanted when they were just impossible? But then again, he wasn't one to believe in no win scenarios.

He stopped this train of thought later in the week when he suddenly noticed that Spock's behavior toward everyone had changed just slightly. She seemed more irritated and short with anyone that spoke with her, and she and Uhura seemed pointedly to be avoiding each other, both in eye contact, and even in person, were that possible at any time. Kirk deduced that something bad must have happened with them, and so Spock's mood had been thrown off.

With more of a personal interest than a professional one, Kirk decided that he wanted to find out what had happened, and hopefully try to improve Spock's spirits. At the least, it would be nice to not have a crabby First Officer by his side most of the time. But, with the joking aside, he couldn't stand to see Spock like that. He had to do whatever was in his power to make her feel better.

Kirk tried to find some time when he could approach Spock privately, but it started seeming like his First was pointedly avoiding him too. He couldn't let it go on any longer, just marching up to Spock's quarters in the evening near the end of that week, demanding to be let in. He didn't really have a plan here, he just had the ultimate goal of making Spock feel better in mind.

As he stepped through the quarter doors, he felt that familiar nervous pit in his stomach whenever they were alone. That was one thing he _definitely_ could do without.

"You wish to speak with me about something urgent, Captain?"

Kirk knew that Spock was definitely still out of sorts since she was referring to him as 'Captain' in a private setting, but he didn't push the issue now, since the other was obviously pretty irritated.

"Yeah…I've noticed that you've seemed to be in a kind of bad mood this week."

Spock raised an eyebrow and spoke stiffly, "If you feel as though my mood over a personal matter has interfered with my duties, I will take further steps to prevent them from doing so in the future."

Kirk then looked at Spock and spoke carefully, not wanting to make her mood worse, "Look, from the way you and Uhura have been purposefully avoiding each other this week, I got the idea something happened, and I just wanted to know if you're okay."

"With all do respect, Captain, it is none of your business." Her tone was cool and her shoulders went extremely stiff.

It hurt Kirk with the way she was trying to shut him out, but he shook his head. He was not going to have any of it.

"I'm not asking you as a commanding officer. I'm asking you like a friend." Kirk said softly, trying to give Spock an encouraging look.

Spock was silent, her shoulders staying stiff, her mouth thinning into that line it did when she was uncomfortable about something, and she hesitated in her quiet reply, "Nyota and I…we…this week we had attempted…to have some intimacy."

Spock's ears were tinged green at this extremely personal admission, and she looked resolutely at the floor.

Kirk gently prodded her onward, "…and, it didn't go so well?"

"She…participated somewhat with me, but I could easily sense that she was uncomfortable." Some greenness had now colored her cheeks as well as she admitted what Kirk was sure she considered a shame of hers.

"Oh, Spock…" Kirk said sympathetically, his want to take her into his arms increasing exponentially.

Spock then turned her face away from Kirk, so that he could just see her profile, and her voice quivered almost unnoticeably, "Nyota assured me she just needed some more time to adjust to my changes. This I naturally granted her, since it was completely unexpected, and undoubtedly shocking for her."

They were then both silent, a strange kind of tenseness settling between the two of them, and Kirk felt himself getting more worried when she continued to refuse to look at him.

"Spock." Kirk almost whispered, his voice more earnest than he'd ever remembered it being.

Spock slowly, slowly turned to face Kirk once again. Though her face was showing no sign of crying, her eyes were bright with tears. Suddenly Kirk got it. Spock felt rejected and unwanted in her new state.

"No, Spock, don't – " Kirk tried his best at comforting, not realizing that he'd edged just a little closer to her.

"It was foolish of me to expect anything different." Spock's voice was resolute, but the pain in her eyes…Kirk just couldn't stand it.

She was everything that he wanted, and so there was no way he could let her feel like this. He got even closer to her, put a gentle hand on her face and he murmured, "You're beautiful."

And before she could say anything or he could think, he leaned forward to take her lips in a gentle, but passionate kiss. At first, Kirk felt her stiffen in surprise, but when he didn't relent, she slowly relaxed, allowing her lips to become the slightest bit more pliant. Kirk took this as an invitation to deepen their kiss, raising his hand to undo her hair like he so wanted to and then burying his hands in it, pulling her body closer to his.

Their kisses quickly became breathless and Kirk felt as though he was in heaven, kissing Spock feeling so much more overwhelming than he'd ever expected. He figured because he'd wanted her for quite some time, and to finally get this unexpectedly was setting his heart hammering and his hands trembling with desire. He could feel the pleasant tensing of Spock's muscles under his fingers as he moved his hands slowly down her back, and he knew she wanted him just the same.

But before this could continue for too long, Spock broke their kiss and held him a few inches in front of her, desperately trying to catch her breath, her eyes wide in surprise at what they had just done.

"…Jim?" she asked softly in confusion, her voice still slightly breathless.

Then all of the reasons why he _hadn't_ done this already rushed back to him. It didn't matter if Spock wanted him or not. She was already taken. Even if she had a problem with Uhura, he didn't want to make things worse. What if Spock just didn't want to hurt his feelings? What if she just went along with this because he was the captain? There were just so many things wrong with this, it made Kirk's head spin.

He stumbled backwards away from Spock then, mumbling apologies and then rushing out of the room. In fleeing, Kirk missed how Spock sat silently on her bed in a dazed way, touching her lips.

* * *


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

After kissing Spock that way in her quarters, Kirk kicked himself over and over. He obviously took advantage of her in a weakened emotional state, and put her into what she probably felt was a compromising position had she refused him. And that little taste…it just made Kirk want her more, so his guilt was like a never ending cycle.

He decided that he had to show Spock that he didn't expect anything from her, and that he didn't want her doing anything solely for his sake. So, when they both came to the bridge for their morning shifts, he acted perfectly friendly with her, but he made sure not to hold eye contact with her longer than necessary, and he especially made sure to maintain an appropriate distance from her at all times, no matter how much his body cried out in protest.

This went on for some days, when finally something was done. The both of them had to take the lift to get some place together and Spock quickly pushed the stop button and then looked at Kirk very seriously. Kirk was not expecting this, and his face easily reflected his surprise.

"Have I displeased you in some way, Captain?"

"Not at all." Kirk said, trying to keep his voice calm, but all he could think of in this moment was kissing her again.

"Then what is your reason for your changed behavior toward me?" She asked forcefully, her face blank, but her eyes showing some pain and confusion.

Seeing this cause Kirk's heart to clench but he stuck to saying, "I don't know what you're talking about, Commander."

Spock's face didn't change, but her eyebrows narrowed in determination, "Analysis of your behavior over the last few days has led me to believe their cause is our encounter in my quarters some days ago."

Kirk then closed his eyes and sighed, realizing that playing dumb would get him no where with Spock. She could see through him in a second and he knew it. Though he didn't say anything, his reaction to her statement told her that she was right.

Kirk could feel and hear his heart thudding in his chest and he could practically feel the tension rolling off of both of their bodies at this close proximity, and he suddenly found it hard to breathe. When Spock finally spoke softly, Kirk couldn't help but center in on her moving lips.

"Jim…you did not force yourself on me." she said simply, her eyes wide and her body stalk still.

At this, Kirk felt his whole body tremble with the effort of not touching her and right before his last thread of control snapped, he pushed hard against the wall he was leaning against to send himself forcefully into the adjacent wall, where he clutched a rail so tightly that his knuckles turned white and his breath was coming out in soft pants.

He saw Spock looking at him in concern, but he ignored that in the effort to calm himself down. He told himself once again. It didn't matter if he wanted her or she wanted him. She needed to sort everything out first, and then he could think about making a move.

Kirk almost succeeded in calming down when his communicator suddenly beeped. He took a deep breath and opened it up.

"Kirk here."

"Captain, we have a transmission from Starfleet." Uhura's voice came from the bridge.

Taking one more breath, he replied, "Commander Spock and I will be up to the bridge shortly. Kirk out."

Kirk quickly flipped his communicator closed and he looked anywhere but Spock as he started the lift again and ordered it to the bridge, not sure what to make of this situation at all. Maybe he'd think about it again after this mission they were sure to receive. He knew more than anything that he had to clear his head from all of this.

* * *

When the lift finally arrived at the bridge, Kirk especially made sure to only look at his chair as he hurried to take a seat in it, and then he spoke to Uhura without looking at her, not wanting to turn back and accidentally set eyes on Spock, "All right, put the message through."

"Message from Admiral Nacen, Starfleet Command. The Enterprise is to make a check on the newly formed Vulcan colony on the planet Arrakis V and to provide any assistance the colony may require. Nacen out."

At this, Kirk couldn't resist looking at Spock. Now there would be no way for Spock to keep this from her father, since they wouldn't be able to come up with a good excuse as to why Spock couldn't come off the ship to meet with him or with Spock Prime. She would have to face them, and Kirk promised himself that he'd be behind her, no matter what was happening between them in this moment.

She looked uncomfortable and concerned at the message, but Kirk's heart skipped another beat when she seemed to relax slightly at the meeting of their eyes.

"Chekov, plot an immediate course for Arrakis V. And Sulu, as soon as we're ready, warp 5 speed, please."

They both nodded and quickly got to it, and Kirk tried to relax in his chair. He knew that Sarek was a good, understanding man, but there was no way to predict how anyone would react on finding out their only son had been turned into a girl. This left him hoping for the best.

* * *

On arrival to the colony, the ship landed in the rudimentary dock that had been constructed near the colony, and this was when Spock finally sucked it up and contacted her father directly to give him the news. At first, Sarek did not believe it, but eventually he became convinced of it since it wasn't in a Vulcan's nature to lie.

Spock let out a small sigh when she concluded the communication with her father, and Kirk stepped behind her to give her shoulder a small squeeze and he said firmly, "It'll be fine, I know it."

"This is one time I especially hope that your intuition can be trusted." Spock replied simply, her face stoic and more shut off than usual.

Kirk nodded at her, knowing how hard this must be, and then he led the way off the ship. A short ways away from the landing dock was the colony and there waiting for he and Spock were Sarek and Spock Prime.

"Greetings, Captain Kirk. It is a pleasure to see you again." Sarek said with a single deep nod.

Spock Prime was giving him a special look, and Kirk might have blushed at the warmth he found in the other's eyes, but he was able to keep it together with the seriousness of the situation they were facing.

"Same to you…you both." Kirk said, smiling and nodding politely to both Sarek and Spock Prime.

Then Sarek looked behind Kirk and gave Spock a good long stare. One eyebrow went up and he said, "Spock?"

"Yes, Father." She replied, in her familiar 'at attention' stance.

Kirk had to hand it to Sarek in taking his child's gender change in stride, as he next spoke in a completely even voice, "There is much we must speak of, Spock. Come with me."

He then began leading in a particular direction and Spock quickly followed after him. This left Kirk alone with Spock Prime.

"It's been a while." Kirk said, speaking with a friendly smirk on his face.

It really did feel like he was seeing an old friend.

"It has been a while, Jim." His lips were quirked up in a smile, and he said Kirk's name in a special way that Kirk was sure only he could manage.

"So, I hear you're going by Ambassador Sonak nowadays?" Kirk asked in almost a teasing manner, unable to believe he'd really only previously known this man for a few hours, but that mind meld made him feel like he'd at least known him his entire life.

"Yes, that was the alias that I had chosen to avoid any…confusion." Spock Prime replied with humor in his tone.

Kirk decided he really liked talking to this Spock as well. At the least, he'd mellowed out over time. Spock Prime led the two of them over to a small dwelling in the colony, and Kirk assumed this was where he lived. Kirk took a seat on some of the simple furniture and Spock Prime sat next to him.

"I am sure there is much to speak of, but I am most curious of how I was turned into the female sex." He asked in curiosity and amusement.

"Ahh…" Kirk suddenly looked sheepish, deciding that he should have expected this question from him.

What was he going to say, anyway? It's not like anyone knew the true circumstances of the event, not even Spock.

"None of us are too clear on that, but apparently the Vuctornas used some sort of mysticism to do it."

"Indeed. How has Spock coped with this change?" Spock Prime asked with a curious eyebrow.

"Oh, I'm sure it took some getting used to, but the crew was behind him." Kirk's voice turned a little more tender, and his cheeks colored slightly, "I-I was always behind him."

"I am very glad to hear it." He said in all seriousness, but that special look that seemed reserved only for him was back in his eye.

A companionable silence settled between them for a few moments, and then Kirk suddenly asked, "What was he like? I mean, the Kirk of your time."

At the question, Kirk swore he saw Spock Prime's eyes light up as they got that far away look in them.

"He was…an extremely stubborn man. Complex, compassionate, selfless…he was willing to give his life any day he thought it would save another…" Spock Prime spoke in adoration, and his tone got almost too quiet to be heard, "Jim…"

Hearing Spock Prime speak of his Kirk like this really touched him and he said in a soft tone, "I can only hope that one day I can be like him."

Then Spock Prime met eyes with him and the tender look that Kirk found there made his heart melt. He wasn't such a smoopy person, and he half way wondered if his food this morning was drugged with something that made him like this. His face flushed when he saw the other lock his gaze with a look that was so open and trusting, and he was suddenly sure of two things.

If Spock Prime wanted him to go jump off a bridge or something equally ridiculous right in that moment, Kirk wouldn't have hesitated for a second, and that it was more than obvious that Spock Prime loved the Kirk of his time deeply and unconditionally. He knew he loved his Spock, but he couldn't keep himself for feeling affection for this Spock as well.

It seemed as though Spock Prime knew what was going on in his head since his reply contained some of the affection as well, "I am certain that you will be."

Kirk gave him a genuine and bright smile at this, deciding not to try fighting with the silly feelings welling up inside of him. He knew that Spock Prime would be considerate of his pride and keep this moment strictly between the two of them.

"Live long and prosper, James Kirk." Spock Prime said, holding up his hand in the Vulcan salute, that look always in his eyes.

Instead of just retuning the saying and the salute, Kirk found himself getting closer to the other and then lightly caressing the hand that was being held up for just a moment, feeling a shiver passing through both of them at the contact. The meld shared between them at this contact was short, but it was enough for Kirk. Enough for him to see that he would always love this individual, no matter the gender or time period. He was meant to love him.

When he drew his hand back, he gave Spock Prime a shy smile at the understanding look the other was giving him. Kirk felt some comfort now that he knew the truth.

* * *


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

When Kirk and Spock met up again, they bid both Spock Prime and Sarek farewell and made their way back onto the ship, determining that the colony was on a good schedule of progress. But, Kirk easily noticed that Spock seemed to be in an even more tense mood now than she even was before they had arrived at the colony. Kirk wondered if her meeting with her father didn't go well, but he figured that the best time to ask her that would be in private.

On returning to the bridge, Kirk found out from Uhura that Admiral Nacen had left them another message, and he informed her that he would listen to them in his personal quarters. As he made his way there, he decided that it would be best if Spock had some time to digest whatever had happened between her and her dad, and so he would give her some space during that time.

He admitted that there was a lot he had to figure out himself. He was rather sure that he'd fallen in love with Spock before this visit to the Vulcan colony, but now with this short meeting with Spock Prime, there wasn't one doubt left in his mind. This realization just made everything worse because he now had to decide what to do with his strong and undeniable feelings when he wasn't even sure what Spock, herself, wanted.

She had told him that he didn't force himself on her the time they had kissed, but what did that mean? Did it mean that she actually wanted him in the same way, perhaps even felt the same way, or that because she was a willing participant, he could relax since she wouldn't claim it to be sexual harassment?

The look in her eyes in the lift told him that she was rather confused over the happenings. Maybe she just got caught up in the moment, but wasn't really interested in a romantic relationship with him. That could explain her hesitance about the situation, partly. Then there was the whole deal with Uhura.

Did Spock really love her? Because if she did, he was definitely fighting a losing battle here. But when they kissed, she kissed him back with just as much fervor, her body reacted to his touches, Kirk felt…

He shook his head as a look of disgust came to his face. He knew he risked sounding like a Hallmark card, but…holding her, touching her, kissing her…it all made him feel whole. Just as what he'd felt from Spock Prime had.

He let out a sigh as he let himself in his room. He really needed a drink. Perhaps he would see Bones about that later. He also decided that he would get more comfortable before he saw the message from Nacen, so he threw off his boots and changed out of his uniform clothes into a simple t-shirt and some worn sweats. Then he went over to his personal view screen and accessed the message.

"Captain Kirk. I have decided to send you a direct message of news of the negotiations with the Vuctornas on Magos VI due to you and your crew's personal interest in the matter. Due to your understandable, but abrupt leave from the planet, the Vuctornas have so been quite difficult to negotiate with, since this is considered to be quite rude in their culture, especially when they are under the impression they had done you a favor by changing the gender of your first officer.

We have attempted to make them understand that this is not the case in our culture, but so far the Federation dignitaries have had little success in the endeavor. I will continue to keep you posted on further dealings with the planet. Please express Starfleet Command's condolences to Commander Spock for the difficult situation he has been thrust in, and that we are still doing whatever we can to aid the situation. Nacen out."

Well, wasn't that peachy. It was all just pretty words saying, 'sorry, we can't help you.' Kirk was now glad that he took the message in his quarters after all, so that the rest of the crew wouldn't have deal with the disappointment of Starfleet's inaction…specifically Spock. He would definitely be keeping the nature of this message to himself.

And now, he needed some sleep. Maybe his sleep would be filled images and thoughts of Spock, but he had to at least try to get some rest.

* * *

* * *

Some days later, Kirk finally got some time to spend with McCoy in the way they used to as roommates at the Academy, getting comfortable in the doctor's room with some drinks. With things always being so busy on the ship, there was little time for times like this. And he really did miss Bones' company, with all the worrying he had been doing over Spock lately.

The two of them were seated comfortably on the easy chairs that were inside McCoy's quarters, drinking some green alien alcohol together. Kirk wasn't quite sure if the stuff was technically legal to obtain or not, but he definitely wasn't going to ask any questions in that regard. How he got the stuff was his business, and it did taste good, so he didn't complain.

They chatted about the stuff they usually did…Bones talking about some new medical horror he'd read about, Kirk teasing him about how he was just too paranoid for his own good, but Kirk's heart just wasn't into it. Spock was still at the back of his mind.

"…okay, just spit it out, will you?" McCoy finally said midconversation.

"Huh? What are you talking about?" Kirk tried to sound surprised, but he should have figured that his best friend would know better.

"Don't play dumb with me, Jim." McCoy said in his impatient drawl, "I know that 'I want to tell someone but I don't want to tell someone' look of yours. So, there's no need for the suspense. Just spit it out already."

Kirk wondered briefly if he should keep arguing, but he determined that would be fruitless and just end up irritating Bones, so he let out a sigh and said, "Okay, okay…I need to ask your advice on something. But let me finish before you say anything, all right?"

McCoy raised a suspicious eyebrow at Kirk and said in sarcasm, "Just _what_ have you managed to get yourself into now, Captain?"

"I haven't gotten myself into anything!" Kirk first said defensively, but then his voice got a little quiet as he added, "…yet."

McCoy could only let out a suffered sigh at this and then he said, "Okay, I'm listening."

Kirk took a small gulp at the impatience in the other's voice, and he pushed forward with what he wanted to say, "This is about Spock."

The surprise Kirk found in the other's eyes at this was unmistakable, but McCoy just raised an eyebrow and waited for him to continue.

Kirk cleared his throat and pushed himself to keep talking, knowing that no matter what, the other would just make him feel stupid anyway. This was Bones, after all, and it was what he did best.

"For a while now, I've been thinking…well, that I've sorta…got a thing for her."

There, he said it. McCoy was silent for a good minute, but his face said volumes.

"Have you lost your cotton pickin' mind?" he finally said, confusion and irritation reflected easily in his features, "Spock is your crabby first officer, who, in case you've conveniently forgotten, used to be a man! And, who could quite possibly be _turned back_ into a man one day."

"Of course I didn't forget any of that!" Kirk said, rolling his eyes at McCoy.

Kirk was sure that the doctor thought he was insane now when he said, "So, you're telling me, with Spock's _charming_ countenance aside, you would still have this 'thing' if Spock were to one day turn back into a man?"

"I'm sure of it." Kirk said without a drop of uncertainty, "I don't know why, but I just know it's true."

He'd never mentioned Spock Prime to Bones before, and he figured that he would just keep the secret between he and the older Vulcan. It just seemed more special that way, in his mind.

"You have to be kidding me." McCoy said with a shake of his head, downing whatever was left in his glass in a way that seemed as though he'd hoped that would help him make more sense of this situation.

"I'm serious! Why does everyone think I'm joking when I try to tell them something serious? Isn't my sense of humor better than that?" Kirk said with an almost pout.

When McCoy raised an eyebrow at this, Kirk chuckled and added, "You know, your face is so reminding me of Spock right now."

The doctor's lips then pursed together and an irritated look came to his eye, "I'd rather not be compared to the green blooded hobgoblin, thank you very much."

That response from the doctor made Kirk laugh and earned him a glare.

"I just…" Kirk's voice then had some uncertainty creep into it, "I don't know what to do, Bones. I don't even know what she wants."

McCoy just let out a tired sigh when he realized that Kirk was truly serious about this, no matter how little sense any of it made to him.

"If you're as crazy as I think you are, which I _know_ you are, you've obviously already made your decision."

Jim was silent as he thought about that. He definitely had to talk to Spock about this. About everything. He also finished his drink in the hope that it would give him the courage to do what he needed to.

They stayed quiet for some time, McCoy refilling the both of their drinks as they contemplated the situation, and then the doctor finally spoke in some surprise, "I never thought you the type to fall in love, Jim…especially not with that logical computer."

But there was little to no real scorn in the doctor's voice. It was just surprise. Kirk was sure the other thought he had him pegged, but he'd found a way to shock the other in a way that he was proud only he could.

"I think it was the fact that that computer is flawed with more illogical programs than it wants to admit." Kirk said, half way smirking to himself.

McCoy couldn't help but smile wryly at that, and he raised his glass to Kirk saying, "Here's to you, you crazy bastard."

Kirk just laughed and clinked his glass to the doctor's, "Amen to that."

* * *


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

In the few weeks following the visit to the Vulcan colony, Kirk was hurt to notice that it was Spock who then maintained a distance from him, and declined on spending time with him outside of their duties. Was this her way of telling him that she'd thought about things and just wasn't willing to entertain the idea of anything between the two of them that extended past work or friendship?

But Kirk could tell it was far larger than that with the tense and irritated way Spock held herself and spoke to others. Maybe her voice was calm and even like always, but Kirk had developed some insight into Spock's expressions, and his analysis of them told him that she was anything but those things.

It had to do with the visit to the Vulcan colony and Spock's talk with her father, he knew it. He also knew that Spock didn't seem inclined to speak about it with him or anyone else, especially with how irritated she was becoming over the days. Kirk was starting to feel it to be odd. This wasn't a normal amount of irritation, it seemed as though she was starting to have trouble containing it.

This caused Kirk to observe her more closely, and what he found shocked and troubled him. She seemed to constantly trembling, and when she thought no one was looking at her, there was this very strange, kind of hungry look in her eyes that thoroughly disconcerted Kirk. Now that for sure was something he'd never seen in her before.

One day, Kirk decided that the had to speak with Spock about it, for the good of everyone, but was shocked when Spock came up to him and said in a tone that was barely controlled, "I must speak with Lieutenant Uhura privately, immediately, and I request some time to do so."

Kirk wouldn't have thought to refuse her anyway, but the look in her eyes as she asked especially warned him against doing so.

Giving her a very worried look, he said, "Of course. But only if you allow Bones to give you a short examination later to make sure you're all right."

She raised an eyebrow at Kirk and her face twitched dangerously as she spoke in a quiet tone, "I do not see any need for this since I am perfectly fine."

"This is an order, Commander. I want to be sure that nothing is wrong with you." Kirk said firmly, but compassionately.

She looked at Kirk a moment longer, and her face twitched again, but she grudgingly acquiesced, "Very well, sir."

Then she approached Uhura, who was also regarding her very warily, and said stiffly, "Lieutenant?"

Uhura just nodded and left the bridge with Spock without another word. Kirk just let out a sigh and took a seat, knowing for a fact that very little was right with this situation.

* * *

Some time later, he noticed that Uhura had returned to the bridge looking a little rattled, but Spock did not return with her. Kirk gave her a confused look and approached her immediately.

"Lieutenant, what happened?"

She hesitated greatly at the question and finally said, "Commander Spock told me to inform you that she was visiting the doctor as per your order, but after she felt that it would be best to return to her quarters."

Kirk stared for a moment and then said, "But that doesn't answer my question."

Again she hesitated, "She related to me a personal matter that she wished for me to keep quiet about."

"And just why can't she come back to the bridge after the doctor checks her over?" Kirk said, his tone now getting quite suspicious as he raised an eyebrow at her.

"It is related to her personal matter." Uhura said, still dodging the question.

Kirk then drew closer to Uhura and quieted his voice, saying, "What _is_ her 'personal matter'?

Uhura just faced his suspicion with a firm face and said, "I can't break her trust."

"Look, I know Spock's well being is on the line here, so don't make me order – "

Kirk's communicator suddenly went off, so just looked at Uhura with his suspicious gaze a moment longer before answering it.

"This had better be important." Kirk snapped at whoever was calling him, not in the mood to speak with anyone.

"In fact, it is." came McCoy's sarcastic voice from the other side, "For once I have something important to tell you, instead of just calling you randomly to tell you new ridiculous ways people can die in space that I've completely made up. Oh, wait, that isn't me, but someone else I have the misfortune of knowing."

Kirk decided that he probably deserved that with the tone he'd used with the other, so he sounded a little apologetic as he replied, "Sorry, Bones. What's going on?"

"I'd like you to come down to sickbay so that we can talk. It's about the Commander."

Kirk was instantly and extremely worried when he heard the doctor's grim tone, and he said, "I'm coming right away, Kirk out."

"We are speaking later, Lieutenant. For now, go back to your station." Kirk said in a warning tone as he hung up his communicator.

She seemed to let out somewhat of a frustrated sigh at Kirk's irritating persistence, but he ignored this, then speaking clearly to the bridge, "While I'm down in sickbay, Sulu, you have the conn."

With that, he quickly left the bridge.

* * *

Making it to the sickbay in record time, he found that McCoy was waiting for him in his office. He took a seat in front of the doctor and he spoke in concern without preamble, "So, what's wrong with Spock, Bones?"

The doctor closed his eyes and let out a small sigh, then saying, "Spock has refused to tell me what is going on with her, but my readings on her biofunctions tell me something is very wrong with her. Her pulse, temperature, and serotonin levels are all abnormally high. If they continue to rise, she very well could die."

"What do you think it is, Bones? There has to be something we can do to help her." Kirk said in absolute determination, not one to give in easy, especially when people important to him were involved.

"I'm not sure there is much we can do because Spock won't tell me much of anything." McCoy said in frustration, "But, based on the readings I've collected and the sparse information I have, I can make a guess."

"Then make it. I need to know what I can do to help this situation!" Kirk said, realizing that he easily got frustrated when people kept him in suspense.

"All right!" McCoy said, glaring at Kirk, secretly wanting to help Spock as much as he could as well, "Based on the particular hormones that are out of whack in her system and the particular medication she asked me for…I've surmised this all has something to do with…Vulcans' need to…to _mate_."

McCoy sounded half way embarrassed when he reveled his diagnosis to Kirk, and all Kirk could do was stare at him in shock and say, "What?! How can you be so certain?"

"She asked me for a powerful and immediate form of birth control, Jim. And all she said in response to the request was that 'it was just a precaution,' and was very tight lipped about the rest."

Kirk put a hand to his forehead, trying to think of what he could do to help Spock, and then he suddenly stood up.

"I'm going to go talk to her about this, and I'm not leaving her quarters until I get some answers! If we have to turn the ship around to go back to the Vulcan colony, we're going to do it."

McCoy knew better than to try convincing Kirk of otherwise, knowing when he got an idea in his head, he couldn't be persuaded out of it, just nodding and sticking to saying, "Good luck. I'll be standing by if Spock needs any other help."

Kirk quickly strode out of the sickbay and was entirely surprised when he nearly bowled Uhura over, who seemed to be hanging around outside, possibly waiting for him.

"Why aren't you on the bridge, Lieutenant?" Kirk asked in impatience, wanting to get to Spock as quickly as he could.

"I know that you're going to go speak with the Commander, so I wanted to warn you." Uhura said in a firm tone.

"What do you mean?" Kirk then asked with an eyebrow raised.

"She's not herself, so I suggest you be careful."

"I can handle this. I'm a big boy, Lieutenant." He said in a slightly patronizing tone, putting his hands on his hips.

Uhura glared at him at the tone Kirk used with her and she returned indignantly, "Don't think I'm warning you because I like you, Captain. Your well being will be endangered when you step into that room, so I'm warning you to be on your guard."

Now this actually gave Kirk some pause. Something _seriously_ must be wrong with Spock if Uhura was going out of her way to warn him like this, so he asked her with some concern, "Did Spock hurt you or anything?"

Uhura shook her head, "No, she didn't…she just exhibited some violent behavior with some objects in her room as a result of our conversation. She then asked me to leave."

Kirk then nodded and said, "Thank you for the warning. I'll keep it in mind."

He then quickly walked past her as swiftly as he could toward Spock's quarters.

* * *


	11. Chapter 11

*A/N: Sorry everyone! For some reason, whenever I directly upload an html doc from my comp, it removes all the quotations and italics and such! I'm not sure why that happens, and in my hurry to post I didn't catch it for this chapter! (Since the numerous other places I post this fic don't give me the same problems). Here's the corrected chapter, sorry for the inconvenience!

**Chapter 11**

He buzzed in as soon as he got to Spock's door, and he didn't get an immediate answer, so this got him a bit more worried, "Spock, are you in there?"

Finally her voice came on the intercom, sounding a bit less even than usual, "This would not be the best time for a visit, Captain."

"I need to talk to you, Spock." Kirk insisted, "From what Bones told me, I need to know more."

Kirk waited for her answer, but none came. He was about to try convincing her some more, but suddenly the door slid open. Before she changed her mind, he hurried inside. When he saw the state of the room, he was in shock. The place was far from the almost immaculate neatness it usually was. Maybe it didn't look so bad by a human's standards, but this wasn't a human. This was _Spock_.

The only sign of something really amiss was the broken incense holder that was by his feet as he stepped into the room. This must have been the object that Uhura had mentioned to him earlier, and seeing a physical example of Spock's loss of control really did put him on guard now, it somehow feeling more real with this sight. He was made even more wary with the way Spock barely seemed to be holding herself together, her body extremely tense and taut, her hands trembling slightly, her mouth pressed into a thin line, and her eyes…they made Kirk shiver with the storm that was brewing in them.

"We really need to talk about all of this." Kirk said, carefully getting closer to her like she was a ferocious animal, "Bones told me that your body is under a lot of strain."

"It is nothing that I am not handling with rest and meditation." Spock practically growled as Kirk got near to her.

Anyone could easily tell that was a lie, and Kirk quietly replied, "If not corrected, Bones said you could die."

Then she locked on Kirk with a fiery glare that almost made him flinch, "This is a private matter I wish to deal with alone, Captain."

Kirk shook his head and softly put his hands on her shoulders, "Let me help you."

He felt Spock's whole body shudder under his hands and she suddenly pushed him away with far more force than was necessary, sending him tumbling backwards and almost falling over, rasping at him, "Do not touch me!"

Even if Kirk knew that Spock wasn't being herself, this refusal hurt him slightly, but he tried not to let that show as he regained his bearings and resolutely got closer to her again, "Tell me what's happening with you."

Spock seemed to push herself back under whatever shaky control she had left of herself and she gave him a downright tortured look as she said, "I cannot. Vulcans never speak of this time out loud."

Kirk felt his heart clench at the way she was suffering, and he knew that there was no way he was leaving this room without helping her.

"This is about your…mating time, right?" he said, feeling slightly embarrassed at speaking about this so plainly with Spock, but there was no time for niceties with how desperate the situation was getting, "Do you need us to go back to the Vulcan colony to find someone to help?"

For a moment, Spock's eyes widened in surprise and anger at Kirk's gall of mentioning this extremely private time with Vulcans aloud, and coldly replied, "I will find no one to help me there."

"Then what _do_ you need, Spock? Let me help you." Kirk said, reaching out to touch her face.

"You cannot!" She said, backing away from his hand as if she feared that simple touch would be her undoing.

Then a very stubborn determination came to his face as he returned, "You could die! If you think that I'm just going to stand by and let that happen, you are _crazy_!"

Spock looked away from him for a long time, finally speaking in an uncontrolled tone, now filled with sorrow, "This is something that I must deal with alone. I have no other choice."

"What do you mean, you don't have a choice? I _want_ to help you!" Kirk said, his eyes so genuinely honest that Spock's eyes teared up.

After being silent another long moment, she spoke in defeat, "I must show you something, Jim."

She stepped toward him and extended a hand toward his face, and he knew what she intended to do. He nodded when she asked permission with her eyes, and then she placed her hand on his pressure points a little roughly, but that was the last thing on his mind as he suddenly was watching an interaction between Spock and Uhura, realizing that it was what had happened earlier that day.

_  
'What is it Spock?' Nyota was looking at her in worry, especially with the sudden way he'd brought her here from the bridge._

_  
'I had hoped that it would not come to this, but my situation is turning…rather urgent.' Spock said, not meeting eyes with her, staring at the floor, 'My time…has come much sooner than I had been expecting.'_

_  
'Your time? You don't mean…the mating time thing you mentioned to me some time ago? Pon Farr?' Nyota spoke in shock._

_  
Spock saw Nyota shiver at the intense look she gave her, but she couldn't help it. She kept looking at the Communications Lieutenant for a long moment and decided that she did desire her, as she was quite beautiful, but something important was missing._

_  
She nodded at Nyota's question, and continued, 'I had hoped, that since I was part human, I would be spared from this time. And…for it to have happened during such an inopportune time for me…_

_  
Spock tried to gage Nyota's reaction to this news, and she found that, especially in this state, the complexities of human emotion were escaping her, and when the other seemed only to be silently absorbing what she was saying, she was forced to continue speaking._

_  
'I would never have asked you this suddenly or abruptly had my situation not become this desperate, but I…I require a mate. Not only had my intended mate lost her life on Vulcan, my father informed me that it would be ill advised to attempt bonding me at this time to a Vulcan male, since there is the possibility that I may still return to being a male myself.' Spock said, trying to sound even, but failing miserably as her words were touched with something dark and hungry._

_  
Her blood fever was slowly taking over to her, and she wasn't certain how much longer she could hold her madness at bay. She was breathing much heavier than was normal, and she felt her heart beat out of control as she waited for a response from Nyota. Her hands trembled. She wanted, needed to touch._

_  
'Spock…' Nyota finally spoke softly, 'I'll try to help you in any way I can.'_

_  
Spock relaxed a little when she heard the words she needed to hear, but there was still that niggling feeling that something was missing or not right. But, she ignored this since her blood fever had little concern with feelings._

_  
'All right, I will attempt to meld with you before the…the mating.'_

_  
Spock saw her nodding her head, but her eyes were still irritatingly difficult to read. She got close to Nyota and raised her hand up to begin a meld with her to start the bonding process. Her mind…it was a beautiful thing, but…it did not match, it did not mix, and…Spock found hesitance, great hesitance._

_  
Spock sucked in a sharp breath as she realized that Nyota only wanted to do this to save her life, and seemed to be reluctant to share what really was necessary in this process of bonding their souls together. Spock could see she was unsure of her feelings for herself, and wasn't sure this would change as long as she was a female._

_  
Spock knew now that this was a mistake. With a gasp, Spock drew out of the meld and staggered backwards from Nyota, her eyes wide with shock. All the hesitance that Nyota had been feeling lately had not been because she was taking time to get used to her new form, but had been because she was no longer physically attracted to her._

_  
'Nyota…' Spock said softly, sounding hurt, but her blood still burned._

_She needed more, and it frustrated her to no end that Nyota couldn't give her what she needed._

_  
'Spock, I'm sorry.' She said, her eyes getting a little teary at the way she'd realized she'd hurt her._

_  
Spock just growled back at that. How dare she say sorry for rejecting her this way when she would not even have any pause were she a male in this moment? Spock's madness made her reach out to the near by incense holder and throw that against the wall by the entrance to her quarters, and she saw that sudden violence made Nyota jump._

_  
'Just…leave.' Spock said, her tone barely controlled, the look in her eyes dangerous._

_  
'Spock…' Nyota's eyes were a little scared, but she didn't want to leave just like that._

_  
'Get out!' her tone was very angry now, and this time Nyota didn't hesitate to comply, just getting out of that room as quickly as she could._

With a broken gasp, Spock pulled back from Kirk, and he noticed now that there were tears running down her face. He realized he was breathing a little brokenly himself, touching his cheek and finding he was similarly crying. He realized that Spock's feelings over the event with Nyota transferred over to him, and let him feel just how upset she was over being rejected due to the gender swap.

"This is why you cannot help me, Jim." He could see her body trembling under the strain of keeping herself under control, "You will no longer want me when I eventually go back to my original gender. We would be bonded from this point on, for the rest of our lives."

Kirk narrowed his eyes at her and put his hands on his hips, "And just why do you think I won't want you when you change back? I will want you no matter what."

Kirk could see Spock wanting to believe his words desperately, and she was breathing heavily as she moved closer to him again, the words sounding more seductive than they probably should have, "Can you always be mine? Even if…I was not of the female persuasion?"

Her tone and the way her eyes roved over him made him shiver, and he softly replied, "I could never be anyone else's."

Kirk could see that Spock's control was slipping and could be broken at any second. He wanted to be cautious, knowing that an angry, out of control Vulcan could easily snap him in half, but his crazy, danger loving side just wanted to dive in blind, just to see what would happen. He settled for the middle ground, not moving when Spock got near him again.

She was so beautiful and her eyes were so enticing and wild. Kirk could hardly believe that she was actually giving him a 'come hither' kind of look, and he was starting to feel like his blood was on fire himself.

"I can't hold myself back any more, Jim." She growled and then walked up to him like she's stalking some prey, her body so taut, so tense, so…ready, "This would be your last chance to leave, because if you don't, I will take you, and I won't stop."

Kirk felt like there wasn't a time that Spock looked quite this _good_ as he felt his breath hitch as he said, "I'm not going anywhere."

Her eyes looked so hungry at his words that Kirk felt as though she just might devour him alive. His heart beat out of control as she stalked closer. Before she could reach him though, he realized that he was by the communicator panel on the wall, and he jammed on the button that connected him to Engineering.

"Scotty, get your ass up to the bridge. I'm otherwise…occupied." Kirk spoke quickly and a little frantically.

"Aye, Captain, but what – ?"

Kirk didn't wait for the question, just hanging up the comm. Spock then finally reached him, grabbing his shirt with a vice grip, forcefully turning him to walk backwards toward her bed, and then she shoved him down so hard that he actually bounced back up slightly.

"I will first bond our minds and then I will take your body and make it mine." Spock growled at him a matter-of-factly, causing Kirk to gasp.

Spock then got on top of him with no warning, holding his body down hard with hers, pinning his hands above his head to leave him in a rather prone position, and then she joined their lips, finally, in a searing kiss.

Kirk felt Spock's mind suddenly flow into his and he called out to her, wanting her all around him, wanting to be one with her, the new presence in his mind overwhelming him with all the warmth, love, adoration, and desire it emanated. Kirk tried to convey all the same things as Spock's mind began to mix with his.

It was so perfect, so seamless…Kirk finally couldn't tell where he ended and where Spock began.

_  
We are now one, t'hy'la._ Spock's voice was calm in his head, and Kirk felt another wave of affection from her.

_  
This is the most amazing thing I've felt, _Kirk thought back to her in joy, _And__ we'll be like this forever?_

_  
Yes, Jim. We will forever be one._ Kirk suddenly got the sensation that he was being embraced from the inside out.

Spock then carefully pulled out of the meld, but the bond she had forged was still there, and Kirk could still sense her thoughts and feel everything she felt, in addition to his own sensations. It was amazing and overwhelming to suddenly get used to this.

"We will mate now." She said in a harsh and dark tone when she parted their lips from their hot, bonding kiss.

He could see that even if she sounded calm in the mind meld, her blood fever was still consuming her. Kirk wasn't quite sure what Spock was going through before they melded, but now he felt acutely the way her blood burned for him and his body.

Her hands began to roughly rip his clothes off of him, sometimes literally, as she forced her tongue in his mouth in a deep, claiming kiss. Kirk felt himself getting very aroused, his own feelings getting combined with Spock's, his body arching helplessly against her onslaught, as his arms were still being pinned by her.

When every last bit of his clothing was removed from him, only the sound of their harsh breaths punctuated the air for a moment as she surveyed him carefully with her dark eyes. Kirk wriggled a little at the intensity and his eyes pleaded with her. With everything happening at this time and everything that had happened between them up to this point, Spock wasn't the only one desperate for this.

"Please…please, Spock…I need you." Kirk begged shamelessly, his pride could be damned at this point.

She just growled and finally let his hands go so that she could quickly take off her clothes as well. She showed just about the same care for her own clothes as she did Kirk's, as soon they were strewn haplessly around the room in pieces, since they could not be removed quick enough for her liking.

Seeing her staring him down that way in the nude made Kirk even more hopelessly aroused, and he closed his eyes and moaned, his cock twitching and hardening even further. She had to be the most beautiful, sexy woman he'd ever seen. He wanted to get up and touch her, but something told him to stay put. This was Spock's time, and he was hers to do with as she pleased.

"You are eager, t'hy'la…" her voice husky with her desire, "This pleases me…"

And then she practically pounced on him, taking his lips again, their bodies rubbing together intimately as her hands raked roughly over his skin. Kirk knew there were going to be bruises the next day, but he was so far beyond caring at this point. Everywhere she touched him burned, and soon he found his hips bucking slightly in desperation.

Spock appeared to finally reach the end of her rope as well, releasing her mouth from his neck and licking over the bruise that was already forming there, and growling at him, "I will take you now."

Kirk moaned his approval as she positioned herself on top of him, but then a thought shot into Kirk's mind.

"Wait, Spock…aren't you a vir—?" Kirk started asking in a bit of concern, not wanting her to be in any pain, but he cut off with a deep groan as he felt himself being completely enveloped in her hot, tight, heat.

His eyes were clouded with lust and he was completely at her mercy now. As she began to move, Kirk moaned at the feeling of her around him, feeling just how wet…oh, god, so wet just for him…his hands held her tight as their rhythm got hurried.

Feeling her around him at the same time as he felt himself in her through their bond was driving him insane. He thought sex before was fantastic, but he could never go back to that after experiencing sex like this. Her hands were moving over his body again, her nails scratching his nipples and his chest as he moaned desperately and held tight to her hips.

His body and mind begged for her to buck harder against him, to find a way to let him get even deeper somehow and his hand suddenly reached forward to rub her clit with practiced precision. She was close, they both were, and he needed her to come…they both needed to come.

He finally felt her stiffen above him as her orgasm burst through his mind. She squeezed his cock impossibly tight, and under all the physical and mental stimulation, he couldn't hope to last a moment longer as he was coming too.

When they were both spent, Kirk felt an unbelievable feeling of calm washing over him, along with unadulterated love and affection as Spock moved to settle against his side. He held Spock tightly in his arms as the both of them caught their breaths, and he thought through their bond, _I love you, Spock, I love you._

_  
I love you, too, my t'hy'la…_Spock thought back to Kirk and this caused him to smile and place a lazy kiss on her forehead.

Finally the two of them felt their breathing and heart rates coming back to normal, and this is when Kirk spoke with a little smirk on his face, "Spock…I think that's the best sex I've ever had."

Spock was silent for a moment, giving Kirk another in mind embrace, "I am pleased. I, myself, felt it was satisfactory."

Kirk looked at her in surprise with his eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Just _satisfactory_? Oh, you have got to be – " Kirk stopped on his tirade when he saw the little smirk touching the edge of Spock's lips.

She was joking, and when he realized this as he felt her amusement through their bond, he laughed and said teasingly and suggestively, "Fine, if you thought that was just 'satisfactory,' the next time I'll have you screaming my name and thinking it's _exemplary_."

"I look forward to this, Jim." she said with a sigh, then allowing herself to relax completely against him.

A genuine smile was on Kirk's face as he began to drift off and he murmured, "So do I…"


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

After a brief sleep, Kirk felt himself slowly coming back to consciousness, his body having that pleasant ache that he associated to post excellent sex, humming softly as he pressed another kiss to Spock's temple. At the kiss, Spock began to stir, and a grin was on Kirk's face as he said in a syrupy sweet teasing voice, "Morning, Sweetheart."

Kirk was sure that Spock felt his teasing intent through their bond, and so in response she spoke with a calmness that had finally returned after the last few tumultuous days, "I believe this amount of rest was sufficient."

It was then she noticed the litany of bruises and marks that she had inflicted on his body and her eyes widened with shock.

"Jim…I didn't realize…have I injured you?" Kirk felt the guilt and worry coming through clear in the bond.

A sheepish smile came to his face at this, and he said, "I'm fine. It wasn't anything that I didn't thoroughly enjoy anyway, believe me."

Spock was sure if she couldn't feel that he was amused over all of this through the bond, she probably wouldn't have believed him at all, but now she relaxed. She raised a hand up to the bruise forming on Kirk's neck and caressed it softly, adding, "This will not be easy to conceal."

Kirk then grinned at her and said, "Who said I'd want to conceal it?"

To this, Spock just raised an eyebrow and made Kirk laugh again. He couldn't remember another time he felt this happy, and through his bond with Spock, he knew the same was true for the other.

Kirk knew that the both of them were definitely missed on the bridge by this point, not even sure how long he was gone for himself. But, he was hard pressed to leave the warmth of Spock's arms and her bed, just pulling her close in another tight embrace.

As they lay together, he thought a bit more about what had happened between the two of them. They were now bonded together. Forever. That definitely was a hard concept to wrap his mind around, especially when he never had a relationship that lasted more than a week in his past, but this bond felt so strong between the two of them, it gave him a sense of calm and confidence in himself that had been missing for most of his life.

He had the feeling that there was no one that could ever be better matched for him, and this was supported by the things he felt whenever he was around Spock Prime and the fact that in spite of the rocky start of their relationship, they still managed to make it to this point.

His thoughts were suddenly broken when he heard Spock's soft voice in his head, _I believe we should return to the bridge at this time, Jim. I know that I am now fit for duty again._

Kirk felt surprised at hearing Spock thinking into his mind as he tentatively thought back, _Wow, we can do this all the time? Thinking to each other, I mean. We don't have to be…making love for it to work?_

_  
No, Jim…we are forever of one mind now, so we may communicate in this fashion in the future if that is what we wish._ Spock thought back to him, and Kirk got the sensation of a caress to the face even if Spock clearly had not moved in his arms.

This really was weird, feeling sensations that should be caused by physical contact strictly through his mind.

_  
So…If we were on the bridge, and I wanted to think to you all of the extremely non job related things I would like to do to you, could I do that? _Kirk thought to her with a smirk.

He distinctly felt Spock rolling her eyes at him and she thought back dryly, _You__ would be able to do that, yes, but I would appreciate if you kept such thoughts to yourself while we are both on duty._

Kirk laughed and replied, _We'll__ see about that._

The silence between them was now comfortable, since the tension between them had finally been dissipated with all of this. Kirk was about to, albeit very reluctantly, suggest that they finally get up and get ready to return to the bridge, but then he remembered something that he was curious about earlier, but just was too carried away to think much then.

_  
I have another question._

_  
Yes, Jim? _The calmness and unassuming tone Spock used with him right this moment put him at such ease that he wondered what he'd done with himself his whole life before he'd had this.

_  
Well…I was certain that you hadn't slept with anyone after you were changed into a girl, so how was it that — ?_

Spock quickly cut off Kirk's question, and he could distinctly feel her deep embarrassment in her reply, _You are right in the assumption that Vulcan females are quite similar to human females in the construction of their analogous body organs in this case that you are inquiring about._

_  
Okay, then, so why weren't you—?_

Kirk was cut off swiftly once again, feeling another wave of embarrassment from her, _Due to the drastic changes I had undergone in my body, there were many mysteries that I had to uncover about myself through careful analysis and experimentation._

Kirk was silent for a long moment as he turned over what she thought to him, and then an impish smile slowly materialized on his face, _So you're telling me that you weren't 'intact' due to self experimentation?_

_  
It was solely due to the result of my investigation, not due to any personal desire._ Spock's voice was now quite stiff, but Kirk got a mild feeling of shame off of it as well.

Kirk just chuckled lightly in response, and his tone was both comforting and teasing as he thought, _You__ don't have anything to worry about, Spock. I actually think I'd much like to observe any further self investigation you do._

Spock physically rolled her eyes at this and then she quickly pulled herself up from the bed to begin dressing, saying, "We are certainly due on the bridge by now, Captain."

Though she sounded it, Kirk could feel that she was much more shy and awkward speaking on these topics rather than offended at his comment, and so the smirk stayed on his face and spoke as he dressed as well, "By all means. After you, Commander."

After Spock quickly dropped by his room to retrieve some undamaged clothes for Kirk to wear, the two of them were about to leave the room for the bridge and Kirk grabbed her hand, feeling a tiny shiver travel through her body at the sudden contact, speaking softly a shy smile then touching his lips, "I want you to know that how I feel for you really won't change, no matter what, and that I didn't tell you all that just to get you in bed."

Spock's face didn't change in the slightest on hearing those words from Kirk, but the warmth that he found in her eyes and felt through their bond enveloped him, and though her words were almost too quiet to be heard, Kirk heard them loud and clear in his mind, "I will always take care of you, t'hy'la."

Though the word was foreign to him, the feelings he got through their bond told him exactly what the word meant. Kirk gave her hand one last squeeze, and then he opened the door and led the way back to the bridge.

* * *

When the two of them got back to the bridge, Kirk quickly asked Scotty to return to his duties before many questions could be asked, but he could easily see all the looks being exchanged by the crew and the few whispers he heard here and there. The bridge crew defiantly thought something was up, but none of them had the balls to ask.

Kirk just smiled his usual cocky grin as he took his seat and though he didn't look, but he knew that Spock made her way back to her station as well. He decided to just ignore the looks for the time being and let the rumor mill run, as it were, since none of it mattered much to him anyway, and he made a note to inform Bones of Spock's miraculous recovery.

"Sulu, Chekov, I believe we should make our way toward Starbase 11 to stock up on supplies, so make this happen."

"Aye, sir." they said together.

Kirk then turned in his chair to talk with the rest of the bridge crew, "Since we are not on an official Starfleet mission, I believe that at the beginning of next shift, we can have a skeleton crew man the bridge until we arrive at Starbase 11. So, continue your duties as normal until then."

He nodded and turned back toward the view screen, thinking to Spock suggestively, _And__ then…we can maybe pick up where we left off earlier? I do remember making you a promise that I still have to keep._

_  
The depth of your impatience does still surprise me, Jim. _Was the only response Kirk got, though the thought was laced with affection, and it made him smirk to himself.

Kirk was now ready to face the universe, and he was sure that nothing would be able to stand in his way.

* * *

Several weeks passed again after Spock and Kirk were bonded, and naturally the both of them, or in most cases, Kirk, informed their closer friends on the bridge crew of their new status. Some were surprised, but most of them seemed to already have guessed something was going between them long before they'd said anything.

Kirk tried to act as though nothing was different between he and Spock, but anyone that knew him well would be able to see the way his eyes lit up every time he looked at her, and secretly many on the bridge crew were glad that the Captain had finally found someone he could be happy with, and so it was their hope that his shenanigans with the multiple women would stop.

The crew had nothing to worry about. As far as Kirk, himself, was concerned, he was on top of the world, and nothing could really get him down. He was still feeling this way when the Enterprise was scheduled for a standard supply pick up and drop off mission.

Just as they were making their scheduled drop off, Uhura informed him that a high priority message from Starfleet on channel one was just coming in.

"Okay, Lieutenant, put it on screen."

Uhura did so, and it was an image of Admiral Nacen.

"Captain Kirk, I trust things are running well for the Enterprise."

Kirk smiled and replied, "Yes, sir. As well as can be expected."

"I'm glad to hear that. I also have some good news for you." Nacen said, smiling slightly himself, "The Federation dignitaries were finally able to establish communication with the Vuctorna people, and they have finally agreed to revert Commander Spock back to his original state."

Several emotions quickly ran themselves through Kirk's eyes. This was certainly unexpected. Even if he knew that one day Spock would change back, now that the time had suddenly come, it was still a shock. In a way, it would be strange not to have the Spock that he'd fallen for anymore, but he reminded himself that it was still going to be the same person, and that even if it would be different, having Spock back to the way he was would still be wonderful.

"That really is great to hear. I'm glad that they finally have decided to see things our way." Kirk spoke in some amusement.

Nacen nodded, still smiling slightly, and he said, "Have the Enterprise report immediately to Magos VI, and then follow the Vuctornas' instructions to beam down."

"We'll do that."

"Report back to us as soon as you can on the results. Nacen out."

The screen went blank and then Kirk glanced over to Spock.

_  
You ready to finally change back?_ Kirk thought playfully to her, already knowing the answer to that.

_  
I believe more than ample time has passed for the Vuctornas to come to the only logical decision on the subject._

Kirk chuckled, and he knew Spock could feel his minute bittersweetness through the bond, _You know, it will be great to have you back as you were, but I'll still miss my girl a little._

Kirk knew it could be taken as a joke, but he was perfectly serious.

Spock conveyed some sympathy toward Kirk and thought back, _I will endeavor to keep expressing my love for you in the same ways, Jim._

_  
Yeah…_Kirk was then smiling softly, _Yeah…so will I._

* * *


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Kirk had Chekov plot their course for Magos VI and had Sulu get them there as quick as possible. This was certainly urgent business. Within a few days, the Enterprise was orbiting the planet and he, Spock, and McCoy were making the final preparations to beam down. They all finally gathered in the transporter room, and they took their places in the pod.

Kirk turned to look at Spock and found her looking at him as well. Beautiful…he'd always remember Spock as a girl like this. Stunningly beautiful without having to try. A look of affection came to his eyes and he held out a hand for her to take, not caring that they were being watched by the others in the room.

When she did, he gave it a squeeze and felt their shared warmth and love pulsing through their bond. This could never change, he was sure of it. Very reluctantly releasing her hand, he then nodded to Scotty and said, "All right, energize."

They dematerialized and then rematerialized in the same place they did almost one year before, and there the same two Vuctornas were waiting for them. King Terilooth and Queen L'reg. The king approached them and said in a slightly apologetic tone, "It is quite an honor to speak with you again, Captan James Kirk, though these circumstances are regrettable."

Kirk just nodded. He wasn't quite sure what to say to that, since it was the King and Queen that put them in all this trouble in the first place. Though, at this point in time, he couldn't say he was all that angry at them anymore, since he was now together with Spock due to their interference.

"Please, follow us this way." L'reg said as she led the way back into that palace of theirs.

The landing party and the Vuctornas exchanged few words on the way to the palace, both parties feeling as though there wasn't much for them to converse about, and that any real talk could be done after the procedure was completed.

Soon all of them were back inside the ornate palace, and it seemed that the Vuctornas were ready to get straight to the matter at hand.

"We will be taking your second in command with us to rescind our Taritha rites and then return him to his male form." Terilooth said, beckoning to Spock to stand next to him.

Kirk knew that Spock felt his irrational worry at letting her go with them, and she thought back, _It__ will be all right, Jim. They will not harm me._

Kirk glanced between the two of them and back to Spock, quickly thinking back, _I hope you're right, because who knows what else they could do to you with their magic?_

Spock thought nothing else to him, just sending more of a soothing feeling down their bond as she went to go stand next to the Vuctornas.

"The rescinding of the rites will happen over night as they did before, so we kindly ask you and your Chief Medical Officer to wait in your provided room while this is conducted." L'reg said to Kirk, looking between he and McCoy.

Kirk immediately felt his protectiveness flair out of his control, but before he could say anything, Spock thought to him, _Be calm, t'hy'la. This culture has its secrets as all cultures do. Let us respect them._

At this, Kirk let out a breath and just nodded. McCoy realized some sort of communication happened between he and Spock, and it seemed that he was content with asking him about it later.

"Okay, fine. We will wait." Kirk said reluctantly, stepping backward to stand next to McCoy.

Before the attendant that the king and queen summoned could take the two of them to their room, L'reg spoke softly in a genuine tone, "Our people are truly sorry for any trouble or inconvenience that was caused by our misunderstanding of your culture."

Kirk was silent for a moment, but a tiny smile came to his face as he replied, "Don't apologize. Your people have actually done more for me than you'll know."

Kirk didn't elaborate further, just indicating to the attendant that they were ready to be taken to their room.

* * *

McCoy was very careful to test every little edible thing in the room this time to ensure it had not been drugged, and was pleased to find out that it wasn't.

"We might be safe this time, but I don't much trust these people, Jim." McCoy said suspiciously as he stowed away his tricorder.

"Even if I agree with you, Bones, I do owe them a lot." Kirk said, looking away from him and walking to look out a window that was in their room, observing a nice forest to the west side of the castle.

"What do you mean, you owe them? The only thing any of us owe them for is a lot of trouble caused to your First Officer when he was changed into a female completely against his will!" McCoy scolded with a critical look.

Kirk just ignored the scolding, like he customarily did, and looked back out the window with a strangely vulnerable look, and he replied, "If none of this happened, I don't think I'd have Spock."

With this, the doctor couldn't think of anything suitable to argue with, so he kept silent. He knew that the far too proper Science and First Officer was pretty as a girl, but he couldn't find much else palatable about…_his_…the doctor supposed now, personality, but if Spock truly made Jim happy, who was he to argue?

"What ever you say, Jim." McCoy said with a roll of his eyes and a shake of his head.

Kirk knew this was his friend's way of showing is support, so he just smiled. He kept looking out that window with that vulnerable look came on his face, being silent for a long moment before softly saying, "I do want Spock back the way he was, but I will miss this Spock. I wouldn't have him stay this way, but I'll still miss her a little."

McCoy suddenly felt a bit uncomfortable in realizing that Kirk was actually revealing his private feelings on this matter. He didn't do so well with feelings, but he also knew that this was a rarity for Kirk, so he just awkwardly spoke.

"You'll be getting the same green blooded hobgoblin back, Jim."

Then he dryly added, "For better or for worse."

This caused Kirk to chuckle and he said, "Yeah, you're right, Bones. I guess you'll have to get used to arguing with our good old Spock again."

McCoy grumbled, "Yeah, now the arguments will be a lot _less_ tolerable since Spock will be far less easy on the eyes."

"Speak for yourself." Kirk replied with a smile on his face.

Then Kirk stepped away from the window and took a seat on one of the beds, saying, "I suppose now we've got nothing to do but wait."

"Maybe they'll turn Spock into a frog this time. I'd find that far more desirable to tell the truth." McCoy said in half jest.

He would never admit out loud that he considered Spock one of his closest friends as well. It was much more fun this way. Kirk, on the other hand, saw through all of that in a second, and just laughed at this.

"So, then I guess I'd have to be the prince that breaks the spell, now isn't it?" Kirk said with that smug grin touching his lips.

McCoy raised an eyebrow and said, "Prince my ass."

Kirk laughed again. He couldn't wait to have the three of them back together the way they originally were.

* * *

Kirk and McCoy stayed in the room over night like they did the first time, but thankfully neither of them were drugged into sleep this time. Just as Kirk was getting impatient to find out how Spock was doing, an attendant was sent to summon them to the main room. Kirk exchanged a look with McCoy to get a little support, and then they followed after the attendant.

Kirk wasn't sure what to expect when he finally saw Spock again, having a myriad of feelings churning in his gut, but he pushed them all down when his eyes settled on the three people that were standing in the front of the hall. He saw the queen, the king and…Spock. The original Spock. His Spock.

He was dressed in similar clothes as the king this time, and then when he finally met eyes with Kirk, the Captain was sure he was never more in love than he was in that second. It was still his Spock…it was all there in those dark, intense, warm brown eyes.

Kirk couldn't help but grin, and he didn't care who saw it, or if McCoy would make fun of him forever after seeing it. He got closer to Spock carefully, and he didn't even look at the king or queen at first, only looking at him. He could tell that Spock was having a similar response since the edges of his mouth were turned up in a hesitant smile.

Kirk's smile just got larger and he softly asked, "Spock?"

"Yes, Jim?"

_  
Are you all right? Is our bond still intact?_

_  
Yes, my t'hy'la. Our bond has not been changed or harmed._

Kirk almost wanted to cry with the calm way he heard Spock's voice in his mind, though, thankfully, he was able to keep it in. The voice he heard in his mind and in his ears was a few pitches lower than the woman's voice he'd grown used to over these months, but it still felt completely familiar.

Spock's presence still made him feel whole, though it felt just slightly different than before. But it wasn't in a bad way. It was just intricately different. Still beautiful.

_  
Spock…I want to hold you so badly right now…but I'm sure you wouldn't find that very appropriate, now would you?_ Kirk thought in some humor to Spock, but all of his strong emotions were obvious in his bond as well.

_  
Jim, when we return to the Enterprise, you may hold me all you wish. I am yours, no matter my physical form, and nothing would give me more joy than to have you near me._ Spock thought back to Kirk, allowing himself a soft smile as he did.

Kirk found himself softly coughing away the urge to let some of his tears fall free at that thought, so with only a vulnerable smile on his face he said, "It's nice to see you again, Commander."

Spock's face was completely even again as he replied, but Kirk could feel his happiness through the bond, "Likewise, Captain."

Finally Kirk turned to face the king and queen, "Thank you very much for all of this."

Both of them nodded to Kirk and the king said, "Queen L'reg and I can tell that the gender of your second in command has not affected how well you work together, and we feel we have learned something very valuable of your culture Captain James Kirk. So it is us that must thank you for this opportunity."

Kirk smiled at them both and said, "We will be making it back to our ship now."

L'reg added, "You are welcome to our palace at any time. Please do visit again someday."

"We will." Kirk said with a nod, then leading Spock over to where McCoy was waiting for them.

After the doctor checked Spock over with his tricorder just to make sure he really was okay, then Kirk decided they were ready to return to the ship. He whipped open his communicator and said, "Scotty, three to beam up."

"Aye, sir."

Kirk gave the Vuctornas one last look as the three of them dematerialized. Now they would finally be getting things back to normal. As normal as they could get, anyway.

* * *

They rematerialized in the transporter room and Kirk had to contain his urge to hug and kiss his new and always same Spock senseless, and at least bring him to the bridge so the rest of the bridge crew could see him, but he was so tempted to take him straight to his quarters instead.

"It's nice to have you back, Commander," Scotty said, giving Spock a smile and a nod, "Though, I think I'll be missing that lovely lady for a while."

"I doubt you'd be alone in your sentiments, Mr. Scott." Spock replied with a slightly dry tone, shooting a pointed glance at McCoy.

Kirk just had to laugh at the sour look that materialized on the doctor's face as a result and he said, "Well, I suppose we should get up to the bridge."

He then turned to McCoy and said, "No cause for worry about the Commander, right Bones?"

McCoy raised an eyebrow and said, "Physically? No. Otherwise, I wouldn't be too sure."

The doctor sent a glare in Spock's direction, but both Kirk and Spock knew that he didn't mean it, so they just both nodded when he mumbled something about going back to sickbay and not to disturb him unless it was absolutely necessary.

Kirk's affection and impatience to explore the changes to Spock's body was easily leaking into their bond, and Spock had to clamp down on his natural response of a blush coming up around his ears at sensing his mate's emotions and thoughts.

_  
Patience, t'hy'la. We will have our time together on the conclusion of our shifts. _Spock thought to Kirk, smiling at the other through the bond.

_  
God, I never realized just how hot you were as a male until now._ Kirk thought back, reaching to the side to inconspicuously brush his fingers across Spock's, feeling the suppressed shiver traveling up the other's arm.

Kirk smirked slightly to himself, loving that he had that effect on the other still.

_  
I find your countenance quite pleasing too, Jim. _

This thought from Spock made his smirk grow, and it didn't leave his face the remaining way to the bridge. Making their way on, everyone came up to Spock to give their congratulations on his return to his original state, but the interaction that Kirk watched carefully was the one between Uhura and Spock.

"It is great to see you back again, Commander." She said with a small smile.

Kirk tried not to make his eavesdropping so obvious, but he found it hard not to feel little jealous, especially since he recognized the look in her eyes to be a kind of longing. He knew this whole thing was irrational, since Spock had bonded with him, but as a human, he couldn't help himself.

Spock sensed this, and sent him soothing feelings as he replied to her vocally in his usual polite and even tone, "I am certainly glad to be returned to my original state as well, Lieutenant."

Kirk knew that Uhura knew that he and Spock were together, and he knew that she definitely wasn't low enough to try to go after him on having this knowledge, but truthfully, and quite illogically, Kirk wanted to be the only one who thought of him in this way. She had him in the past, and it was her problem that she let this wonderful person go.

_  
Jim…Nyota does hold a special place with me, but she can never be my t'hy'la…she can never be you. _Spock thought to him as he and Uhura returned finally to their stations.

Kirk secretly was glad for the reassurance, but he thought back smugly, _Of__ course she can't be me. Only one person around here that can actually carry off my special charm._

Kirk saw Spock's lips quirk just slightly, and then he knew the other picked up his true feelings.

_  
You are indeed of a unique variety, Jim._

Jim smirked, _Damn__ straight._

* * *


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

The moment that their shifts were over, Kirk all but dragged the other to his quarters, unable to wait an extra second. He never did patience all that well anyway. When he'd gotten the both of them in the room, and the door shut behind them, Kirk just stared unabashedly at the other, not getting a real chance to do that since Spock was brought back on the ship.

His eyes carefully traveled down Spock's face, and he felt his breath hitching at the tender look he found in those eyes, the special look he knew was reserved only for him…and then his eyes moved down the other's body, finding all of the differences he found to be exciting and very interesting.

"Spock…" Kirk finally said softly, reaching his hand up to touch the other's face gently, and he noted how different it felt for Spock to be around the same height as him now and for his jaw to feel more square shaped than before.

He then brought the half Vulcan in for a kiss that was light and testing, his tongue lazily trailing over the other's lips as his hands ran over the other's body in an exploratory caress, in no rush to do anything, the whole point of this exercise to map out the changes to Spock's body and to relish them as he found them.

Spock closed his eyes and whispered softly, "Jim…"

The voice was different, but it still sent a shiver right up his spine, and this caused him to smirk and then lock the other in a more intense kiss. He also busied himself with getting Spock out of those odd clothes that the Vuctornas had given him, starting with the jacket and shirt.

Kirk realized they were made of some fine, smooth, and delicate material that felt nice under his fingertips as he removed it from Spock's body. His hands trembled slightly as he ran his hands up the other's chest, getting used to the straight, muscular, flat chest and lack of curves.

God, it was completely different than he was used to, but it was still amazing. And hot…goddamn was it hot. Now Spock was touching him too as he began to kiss his way down the other's neck.

He was pleased to see that the other still seemed well versed in what he liked as Spock ran his hands over his chest and back in the slow, firm way he enjoyed most, causing him to shudder and sigh. It was so strange how this was all new, with the way those hands were now larger than he was used to, but it was still all the same since those hands touched him in the way they always had before.

Kirk and Spock's clothes soon had all met the floor and Kirk moved them over to the bed. He encouraged the other to lay back so that he'd get the chance to get a good look at him naked. His body was as beautiful as ever, though significantly different.

_  
Spock, you're so beautiful, god, I wish I had thought to look at you properly before you were turned into a girl._ Kirk thought in amusement, some of his desire for Spock coming through their bond loud and clear.

_  
You will have forever more to look at me as you please, t'hy'la._ Spock thought back to him in affection.

That made Kirk quickly get on top of the other and kiss him deeply and passionately, rubbing intimately against the new, yet familiar body under him, burying his hands in Spock's hair. Maybe there was a whole lot less hair on his head now than there was before, but it still felt the same, still silky and wonderful.

Kirk moved against the other, finally feeling Spock beginning to writhe against him, and then his curiosity got the better of him. He slid himself slowly down Spock's body, kissing and licking down, until he'd settled himself comfortably between the other's legs. Without further preamble, Kirk bent his head down to take the other in his mouth, curious as to the other's taste.

He felt Spock shuddering and head him make soft noises of pleasure as he worked his tongue and mouth around him, and even if he felt a little awkward in doing so, it seemed as though the other was enjoying whatever he was doing thoroughly.

_  
You…you have always been…quite talented with your mouth, t'hy'la…_Spock thought to him brokenly, and Kirk moaned around him as he realized that he'd already almost gotten the other to come undone.

He then began to move his mouth faster and he brought his hands up to rub wherever his mouth couldn't reach. He could feel his mate's pleasure in his mind and that made his cock twitch. Finally, he felt Spock gently take his face in his hands, and just as Spock lost control, Kirk felt him conveying all his feelings of pleasure right to him.

It was so intense that he almost lost it himself, but he held on, not wanting come without the other having touched him at all. Spock took a few deep breaths to recover and Kirk noted that the other's taste was remarkably similar like this, and the realization made him smile.

Spock quickly recovered and suddenly was kissing him again. Kirk knew that Spock could feel his need through their bond, and he felt that the half Vulcan was now determined to take care of him as well.

Spock wrapped his arms around him and then he moved a hand down to Kirk's arousal and began to rub him firmly and quickly, not wanting Kirk to wait. Kirk felt himself writhing and he moaned loudly into Spock's neck, his hips thrusting lightly into the other's hand, just wanting to reach completion.

The other did not deny him, as, in seconds, he was coming hard, all over Spock's fingers and his chest. He never recovered from orgasms as quickly as Spock did, but he didn't care, just cuddling against the other in a rather sticky, but warm, hug.

"God, you really are just as good in bed." Kirk murmured into Spock's ear, placing a soft and lazy kiss on the other's neck.

"Only my body changed, Jim. Not my mind or my memories." he said back calmly, but his tone was easily touched with amusement.

Kirk grinned and said, "You don't know how glad that makes me."

Spock just hummed in response and stroked the back of Kirk's head gently in that way he loved after they had been intimate together, and he felt himself beginning to be lulled into sleep. Not different at all…the love and affection coming through their bond was just the same as it always was, and he was sure, would always be.

"Spock…?" Kirk softly said as he was beginning to drop off.

"Yes, Jim?"

"You know, visiting the Vuctornas again soon may not be a bad idea. I'd like to see my girl again sometime, you know." Kirk said in a totally teasing voice, placing a few more kisses on Spock's neck.

Spock allowed himself a small smile, and he replied just as teasingly, "This may remain only a fantasy of yours, t'hy'la."

"Well, I guess I can dream." Kirk said with a sigh, settling himself even more comfortably against Spock, not even bothered to get up to go to the shower.

Spock showed no hurry to move them along to the shower either, seeming to be content in just holding on to him. Kirk was glad for this.

_  
Spock, I love you…always will._

_  
And I, you, Jim. For the rest of my days._

And Kirk knew it was the truth. This comfort was the last thing he needed to drift off in the warmth of Spock's arms, knowing that though the future was something unknown, their love and bond could always be counted on.


End file.
